A Priest and a Prostitute
One night, a priest walked up to a prostitute he saw on the street corner.
Hoping to shame her into mending her ways he asked "Young lady, what would your mother do if she saw you here tonight?"
The prostitute went white and replied "Oh, she'd kill me! This is her corner!"
What's the difference between a Shakespeare comedy and Fox News?
One's The Taming of the Shrew, the other is the shaming of the true.
Two Italians enter the bus in New York and start very noisy conversation:
" .... 'em come first, then I come, two asses together, I come again, two asses together, then I pee, pee again and I come in the end... "
An old lady nereby can't stand it any longer and says:
" You pigs, what a shame to discuss your disgusting sexual life on public!!!! "
Italian: " Hey, wassup lady??? I just tella my friend, how to spella Mississippi....."
The headmistress at my exclusive girl’s college was lecturing us on Sexual morality...... “In moments of temptation,” she said to the class, “ask yourself just one question: Is an hour of pleasure worth a lifetime of shame?”
She got so furious when I got up and asked “How do you make it last an hour?”
Do special ed teachers mark late students as tardy?
i have no shame.
Man looked his naked body in the mirror says to wife-look 75 kg of pure dynamite
Wife says: but shame on the 5 cm fuse
How do you make a hormone?
You pay her.
(This was told at my pharmacy school. We laughed and then felt shame afterwards.)
Just been up in the loft getting the Christmas tree down, and I found a present from last year which we must have forgotten to give to the kids...
...shame really, they would have loved a kitten.
Fat shaming is wrong.
They have enough on their plate already.
A boy was born without a body, no arms, no legs, he was just a head.
So for his 18th birthday his dad takes him the pub for his first pint. He takes a sip and BOOM - his body pops out. "Take another sip!" everyone shouts, then BOOM - his arms pop out. "Another!" everyone chants, so he takes another sip and his legs pop out.
The boy is really happy and he runs outside in excitement and he's hit by an oncoming truck and killed instantly.
"What a shame" his dad said.
"He should have quit while he was ahead"
That's a nice ham you got there.
It'd be a shame if someone put an "s" before it and an "e" after it.
Don’t be ashamed of who you are .
That's your famlies job.
Parallel lines have so much in common...
It's a shame they'll never meet.