Song jokes

Man

Man

No one is allowed to congregate for funerals; instead, people drive by the cemetery and honk their horns in respect. One man drives by blasting “Another One Bites The Dust”

The family wanted to be mad, but then another car drove by playing the same song, and another one does, and another one does, and another one drives a bus.

Dad

Dad

My dad asked me which Metallica songs I know

I told him I only know one and nothing else matters.

Stephen Hawking

Stephen Hawking

In a cruel twist of irony, Stephen Hawking's favorite song was "I've Got the Power."

Therapist

Therapist

Me: I’m terrified of the song ‘I Want it That Way’

Therapist: Tell me why?

Me: **screams**

Quarantine

Quarantine

If quarantine is knocking you down here are some things you can try to get back up again:

Drink a whiskey drink

Drink a vodka drink

Drink a lager drink

Drink a cider drink

Sing the songs that remind you of the good times

Sing the songs that remind you of the better times

Ireland

Ireland

U2 was playing a concert in Ireland...

Bono took a pause after one of his songs, waited for the arena to go silent, and started clapping very slowly.

He then spoke softly "Everytime I clap" *clap* "A child dies in Africa" *clap*

And that's when some drunk guy stood up and shouted "Well then stop clapping you asshole!"

Truck

Truck

Due to the rise of autonomous vehicles

It's only a matter of time until a country singer makes a song about his truck leaving them.

Mental hospital

Mental hospital

What Christmas song do they play at the mental hospital?

Do you see what I see?

Boy

Boy

Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about their fathers

The first boy says, “My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50.”

The second boy says, “That’s nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100.”

The third boy says, “I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to collect all the money!”

Girlfriend

Girlfriend

My girlfriend kept telling me she was going to break up with me if I didn't stop quoting the song I'm a Believer by The Monkees, but I thought she was just kidding...

Then I saw her face.