Tense jokes

The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar...

It was in tense.

Joe was standing in line at the bank...

... and noticed the man in front of him looked a bit tense. Joe began to give the man a shoulder rub.

The man turns around furiously and says "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING".

In a confused look, Joe says: you looked a bit tense and since I'm a masseuse, I thought I'd try to help you out.

The man looks at him and says: Yea? I'm a lawyer, you don't see me fucking the guy in front of me!

Why was one-fifth so nervous?

It was too tense.

Why is nostalgia like grammar?

We find the present tense and the past perfect

An old teacher asked her student, "If I say, 'I am beautiful,' which tense is that?" The student replied, "It is obviously past."

Now that Trump has been banned from Twitter, we finally learned the past tense of the verb "Tweet."

Twat

So I was asked the past tense of 'think' in a English test today

I thought and thought and thought and finally wrote 'thunk'.

A student got home from school and his mum asked him how the test went.

He said it was easy but one question held him up. The mother asked what the question was. " They asked what the past tense of think was" the boy answered. "So what did you write?" the mother asked.

"I thought and thought and thought until I finally wrote thinked"! The boy replied.