Trump jokes

Breaking News: Bill Gates has agreed to pay for Trump's wall

On the condition that he gets to install windows.

"Allegedly Trump gave Russians intelligence "

I wonder how much he had in the first place and how much he is left with.

How do you get Trump to change a light bulb?

Tell him Obama put it in.

What did the Mexicans say when they heard Trump was building a wall?

We’ll get over it.

What is the difference between a Joe Biden speech and a Donald Trump speech?

When Biden is speaking you wonder if he's had a stroke.

When Trump is speaking you wonder if you've had a stroke.

It shouldn't be surprising our first black president was elected prior to Trump

It's always darkest before Don

Donald Trump doesn't believe in global warming

Would be a lot cooler if he did

What can Donald Trump and I both agree on?

That if Ivanka wasn't Trump's daughter, I would date her.

Breaking: Donald Trump has just won another state.

Denial.

And verily, John said to the Lord, “The world shall end with Trumpets?”

God: No, I meant Trump/Pence.

John: Trumpets, got it.

God: No... ah, forget it.

Now that Trump has been banned from Twitter, we finally learned the past tense of the verb "Tweet."

Twat

Say what you want about Trump...

...but he’s brought school shootings down to zero for more than an entire month.

Two of Trump's wives have been immigrants.

Which just goes to show you that those people will take jobs that no American wants.

Why am I against Donald Trump's wall idea?

It will make fleeing to Mexico more difficult when he ruins our country.

Trump, Clinton, Obama, and Bush each ran a mile.

Trump made a time of 11:56

Clinton was slightly faster, timing at 11:31

Obama was very fast, he ran a 10:03

But Bush did 9:11

Why can't you compare Donald Trump with Steve Jobs

That'll be like comparing apples and oranges

Say what you like about Donald Trump

You know... while you still can.

Why was Melania so excited when Donald Trump became president

Because she can call herself the first lady instead of the third wife

What's different between Trump and the Lannisters?

A Lannister always pays his debts.

Someone drew a swastika on The Trump Tower

The police aren't sure if it's a supporter, or a hater.