Weather

What’s the difference between weather and climate?

You can’t weather a tree, but you can climate.

The thing I love most about this fall weather is the UGG boots and yoga pants..

... Though, they do make me look a bit gay.

Ladies call me The Weather Man

I promise 8 inches, but only give you 2.

I like my women like my weather...

Moist and unstable.

What do you call a weather joke with a bad punchline?

An anti-climactic climatic joke.

I asked a tall dude “how’s the weather up there?”

He spat on me and told me it’s raining

Why is the British weather like Islam?

Because it's either Sunni or Shi'ite

The four seasons were arguing about which of them was the best.

Winter: Well you can build snowmen, and the snow is so beautiful. And Christmas!! Everyone loves Christmas!

Spring: Well sure but come springtime everything is so fresh and new! All the new flowers, it can't get much better than that!

Summer: yes but I am undoubtably the overall best season, girls in bikinis, ice cream, nice weather. You can't top that. What about you autumn what do you have to offer?

Autumn: * leaves *