Common jokes

I took my Biology exam last Friday

I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells. Apparently "Blacks" and "Mexicans" were NOT the correct answers.

What do a thong bikini and Donald's Trump's hair have in common.

They both barely cover the asshole. (gota give Seth Myer credit for this one).

What does a racist joke and crossing the street have in common?

White people look both ways before they start...

My marriage counselor asked me to think of something me and my wife have in common....

I said, "Well, we both refuse to suck dick."

What do chess and eating at a restaurant in Australia have in common?

They both end with a check mate

A JOKE MY DAD CAME UP WITH

Since the united states has a nationwide coin shortage, does that mean we lack common cents?

What do Ethiopians have in common with Yoko Ono?

They both live off dead beetles

What does a lumberjack and a trio of Irishmen have in common?

They're both tree fellers.

What do Caitlyn Jenner and Wolverine have in common?

They are both X-Men.

Common sense is like AIDS.

Some are born with it while others have to get it pounded into them.

What do a G-string and a barbed wire fence have in common?

They both run along the property line without distracting from the view.

What does tofu and a dildo have in common?

They’re both meat substitutes.

What do a pizza delivery guy and a gynecologist have in common?

They both can smell it but can't eat it.

What do cheap hotels and designer jeans have in common?

No ballroom

What does someone walking a tightrope have in common with a guy getting a blowjob from a 90 year old woman?

Both guys are thinking “Don’t look down, just don’t look down”.

What does a gun and a pack of gum have in common?

Everyone suddenly wants to be your friend when you take it out at school.

What do a bungee jumper and hooker have in common?

They are fast, cheap and if the rubber snaps your fucked.

Girl: "Come over." Orphan: "I can’t." Girl: "My parents aren’t home ;)" Orphan: "Oh, cool, something we have in common."

What do depressed people and apples have in common? They both hang from trees.

What do blind kids and orphans have in common? They can't see their parents.