Dad joke jokes

Man

Man

In honor of my dad, who passed away on Wednesday...here is his favorite joke.

Man finds the magic mirror (from Snow White) and gets excited to have his wish come true. So he chants: Magic Mirror on the Wall, make my penis touch the floor!

poof

His penis touches the floor.

His legs are also shorter. Way. Shorter.

Dad

Dad

My dad: *makes that's what she said joke* me: stop I'm only 10

My dad: thats what she said

Dad

Dad

In honor of his passing, my dad's favorite joke to tell waiters

Waiter: "And to drink, sir?"

Dad: "I'll have a blind coke."

Waiter: "I'm sorry?"

Dad: "You know, a blind coke. No ice."

United States

United States

A JOKE MY DAD CAME UP WITH

Since the united states has a nationwide coin shortage, does that mean we lack common cents?

Father

Father

As a father I am granted 3 things in life:

1. I am allowed to have a dad bod. 2. I am allowed to make dad jokes. 3. I am a certified mother fucker.

Bread

Bread

Does anyone else feel that white bread is superior?

Or am I just breadjudiced?

Perfect day for a dad joke. Happy Fathers Day, folks!

Dad

Dad

Dad Joke

Dad: (Grabs his chest) Call me an ambulance

Son: You are........ an ambulance

Dad: Proud of you son.

Father

Father

A while back, my father told me an awful dad joke.

He said he'd be right back

Parents

Parents

Dad jokes and Yo Mama jokes seem like they'd be the same

But the difference is a parent.

Parents

Parents

Having gay parents must be wild

You either get twice the "dad" jokes or an endless loop of, "go ask your mother"

Wife

Wife

My wife is fed up of my constant Dad jokes, so I asked her, "How can I stop my addiction?"

**Wife:** whatever means necessary.

**Me:** No it doesn't.

Joke

Joke

When does a joke become a dad joke?

After the delivery

(Pls....just let me go and don't hurt my family)

Difference

Difference

What's the difference between a pun and a dad joke?

A pun can make you groan, but a dad joke goes even father.

Cat

Cat

How does a cat like its steak cooked...

Raaaaaaaare.

I know I know. Dad joke but I'm desperate for some love since it's my birthday.

Life

Life

I don't always tell Dad jokes,

but when I do, he tells me to get my fucking life together and stop being a disappointment.

Punchline

I'd tell a joke about my abusive dad, but I only remember the punchline.

The sad reality of being adopted by a gay couple is...

You have to endure twice the amount of dad jokes.

Life

Life

My life used to be a joke

But then I became a dad. So now it's a dad joke

(I just came up with this, so either it's terrible, or not original. Likely both.)

Joke

Joke

When does a joke become a dad joke?

When it's funny as a motherfucker

Knock knock

Knock knock

Where do little jokes come from?

Well, a dad joke meets yo momma joke and then they knock knock.