In honor of my dad, who passed away on Wednesday...here is his favorite joke.
Man finds the magic mirror (from Snow White) and gets excited to have his wish come true. So he chants: Magic Mirror on the Wall, make my penis touch the floor!
poof
His penis touches the floor.
His legs are also shorter. Way. Shorter.
My dad: *makes that's what she said joke* me: stop I'm only 10
My dad: thats what she said
In honor of his passing, my dad's favorite joke to tell waiters
Waiter: "And to drink, sir?"
Dad: "I'll have a blind coke."
Waiter: "I'm sorry?"
Dad: "You know, a blind coke. No ice."
A JOKE MY DAD CAME UP WITH
Since the united states has a nationwide coin shortage, does that mean we lack common cents?
As a father I am granted 3 things in life:
1. I am allowed to have a dad bod. 2. I am allowed to make dad jokes. 3. I am a certified mother fucker.
Does anyone else feel that white bread is superior?
Or am I just breadjudiced?
Perfect day for a dad joke. Happy Fathers Day, folks!
Dad Joke
Dad: (Grabs his chest) Call me an ambulance
Son: You are........ an ambulance
Dad: Proud of you son.
A while back, my father told me an awful dad joke.
He said he'd be right back
Dad jokes and Yo Mama jokes seem like they'd be the same
But the difference is a parent.
Having gay parents must be wild
You either get twice the "dad" jokes or an endless loop of, "go ask your mother"
My wife is fed up of my constant Dad jokes, so I asked her, "How can I stop my addiction?"
**Wife:** whatever means necessary.
**Me:** No it doesn't.
When does a joke become a dad joke?
After the delivery
(Pls....just let me go and don't hurt my family)
What's the difference between a pun and a dad joke?
A pun can make you groan, but a dad joke goes even father.
How does a cat like its steak cooked...
Raaaaaaaare.
I know I know. Dad joke but I'm desperate for some love since it's my birthday.
I don't always tell Dad jokes,
but when I do, he tells me to get my fucking life together and stop being a disappointment.
I'd tell a joke about my abusive dad, but I only remember the punchline.
The sad reality of being adopted by a gay couple is...
You have to endure twice the amount of dad jokes.
My life used to be a joke
But then I became a dad. So now it's a dad joke
(I just came up with this, so either it's terrible, or not original. Likely both.)
When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it's funny as a motherfucker
Where do little jokes come from?
Well, a dad joke meets yo momma joke and then they knock knock.