Dealer jokes

When one door closes another one opens

“That’s all well and good”, I told the car dealer, “but I’m not buying the car until you fix it!”

My local drug dealer started dressing up as a Jehovah’s Witness so he wouldn’t arouse suspicion.

He got arrested after the police saw people actually letting him in.

Joke told in the Soviet Union

(For context only 1/7 Soviets owned a car, and once you paid up front there was a 10 year wait to get one)

A man walks into the car store wanting to buy a car. He pays the man at the counter and the man at the counter says “Alright, just come back in 10 years to pick one up.” The man replies “Morning or afternoon?” The dealer says “Well, 10 years from now what difference does it make?” The man replies “Well, the plumbers coming over in the morning.”

I recently bought some shoes from a drug dealer.

I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.

I was asked " why did you marry a drug dealer"

Because my parents told me to marry someone with substance.

I just passed my drug test

my dealer has some explaining to do

What's the difference between a prostitute and a drug dealer?

The prostitute can sell the same crack over and over.

Did you hear about the drug dealer's ghost?

He was arrested for *possession.*

Whats the difference between a drug dealer and a prostitute?

A prostitute can wash her crack and sell it again....

To Generiquai and everybody reading this, I would just like you to know I obviously didn't make this up. Just remembered it from a few years back and thought it was funny. Whoever made it up I give you all the credit. Thanks for checking it out!