Dig jokes

I spent a few hours at my wife's grave today.

She thinks I'm digging a pool.

I pulled a muscle digging for gold.

It was just a miner injury.

What Ricky Gervais said after taking some digs at fat people at a show

"I don't want fat people to feel uncomfortable at my gigs. So next time, buy two seats"

Let me tell you a little poem.

I dig You dig He digs We dig And so do they

Not a great poem, but it's very deep.

I was digging in our garden when I found a chest full of gold coins. I was about to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.

A geologist and his intern

A geologist and his clueless intern are outside examining hundreds of specimens retrieved from an old dig site. The intern gets excited when he finds an interestingly shaped object. He rushes over to the geologist and says, "Hey, what kind of mineral is this?"

The geologist takes it and looks it over. He smiles and says, "Good find, that's leaverite."

The intern, with a big grin, says, "Wow! Really?"

The geologist replies, "Yeah, leaverite there. It's just a fucking rock."

A bus filled with politicians is speeding down a country road when it swerves into a field and hits a tree.

The farmer who owns the field and tree comes out to investigate. Then he digs a hole and buries the politicians. A few days later the sheriff drives by and sees the bus. He goes and gets the farmer and asks him where the politicians are. He says he buried them. The sheriff asks if they were all dead. The farmer says, "Some of them were but some of them were trying to tell me they weren't. But you know how politicians lie!"

A prisoner has been digging up a tunnel under his cell for years

One day he while he was digging he saw the light, he reached the end of tunnel and ended up in a kindergarten playground

"I'm free, I'm free!" shouted the escaped prisoner

"so what? I'm four" said one of the toddlers

I was digging in the back garden...

.. Whan I came across a horde of viking coins, I was so excited I almost ran in to tell my wife,

Until I remembered why I was digging.

A woman is sitting in a park one day, watching two men work. The first man digs a hole, and then the second man fills it back in. Then the first man digs another hole, and again, the second man fills it back up. They keep doing this over and over again. Finally, the women asks them, “Why do you keep digging holes and filling them back in?” One of the guys replies, “Well, usually there’s a third guy here who puts in the tree, but he’s out sick today.”

I wrote a poem.

I dig.

You dig.

She digs.

He digs.

They dig.

We dig.

Now I know it's not a very good poem, but it's pretty deep.

I wish I could be a fossil.

Only then would someone dig me.