Factory jokes

There's been an explosion at the paint factory where my brother works.

He's missing, presumed red.

I got fired from the Calendar Factory yesterday

They say it's because I took a day off

I had to quit my job at the Coca-Cola carbonation factory.

It was just soda pressing.

I got fired from the juice factory today

I just couldn't concentrate

Where do facts come from?

The factory.

Breaking News: Cheese factory explosion!

De Brie everywhere.

Why did the match factory burn down?

Because the workers went on strike

I just thought of this, not sure whether its an original joke

My friend got hired at a dildo factory

He got fired the very next day for sitting on the job

Not bragging, but I made six figures last year,

so they named me the year's worst employee at the toy factory.

My girlfriend really wants me to quit my job. She says that it is cruel that we do product testing on animals.

We’ve argued back and forth for months, and it is a very tough decision for me since I don’t have a formal education. Every day I come home from work, she becomes more and more distant. I also just got a 20% raise, and will finally be able to give my future family the life they deserve. Last night she gave me an ultimatum, her or my job.

What should I do? I love my girlfriend, but I also love my job at the hammer factory.