Fat jokes

Yo momma is so fat....

That I pictured her in my head and that bitch broke my neck...

What does the fat cow give you?

Teacher: "Kids,what does the little chicken give you?" Student: "Eggs!" Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the squealy pig give you?" Student: "Bacon!" Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?" Student: "Homework!"

My daughter came home from school yesterday and told us this joke: What do you get from a fat cow?

Homework.

I went to the pub last night and saw a fat chick dancing on a table.

I said, "Nice legs."

The girl giggled and said with a smile, "Do you really think so."

I said "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."

A biker goes to the doctor with hearing problems. "Can you describe the symptoms to me?" asked the doctor. "Yes. Homer is a fat yellow lazy bastard and Marge is a skinny chick with big blue hair."

Yo mama's so fat

She

A 3 years old boy sits near a pregnant woman.

Boy: Why do you look so fat? Pregnant woman: I have a baby inside me. Boy: Is it a good baby? Pregnant woman: Yes, it is a very good baby. Boy: Then why did you eat it?!

What did the Philosophy Ph.D say to the fat black woman?

Welcome to McDonalds. May I take your order?

“I love you loads, honey pie.” My wife said earlier.

“And I love you tons.” I replied.

“What, no nickname for me?” She asked, disappointed.

Sometimes I swear the fat cow’s going deaf.

If you call a girl beautiful 1000 times she won't really notice. But if you call her fat once, she will never forget...

That's because elephants never forget.

What do you call a fat psychic?

A four-chin teller!

How do you make a few lbs of fat look good?

Put a nipple on it.

My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.

She was not happy with what she saw and said to me, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'

I replied, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."

why should you never make fun of a fat girl with a lisp?

Cause she's probably thick and tired of it

A new study found

that people who take their coffee black are more likely to exhibit psychopathic traits..

And people who order a quad shot, non-fat, vanilla soy, extra foam, light whip with caramel drizzle are more likely to be their victims..