Fly jokes

Marvel Comics have announced a new female, Muslim superhero who can fly.

Which is handy, cause she's not allowed to drive.

I visited my granddaughter last weekend.

I asked if I could borrow a newspaper. "This is the 21st century", she said. "We don't waste money on newspapers. Here, use my iPad.".

Well I can tell you this, that fly never knew what hit him.

A frog goes into McDonald's and orderes a cheeseburger

The cashier looks at the frog and asks him: would you like flies with that sir?

Why is Peter Pan always flying?

Because he Neverlands

I asked my Granddaughter to give me the newspaper. She said that newspapers are so out of date, and that people now use tablets, so she handed me her iPad.

That Fly didn't stand a chance.

First dirty joke an adult ever told me, what's yours?

A pelican spots a frog in a marsh and swallows him whole. The pelican flies off and reaches a great height. Suddenly the frog pokes his head out of the pelicans butt and yells out to the pelican "Hey,how high are we right now?", the pelican replies "About 100 meters.", to which the frog nervously replies "Are you shitting me?"

Why don't helicopters fly in the morning?

Twirly.

A software tester walks into a bar.

Runs into a bar.

Crawls into a bar.

Dances into a bar.

Flies into a bar.

Jumps into a bar.

And orders:

a beer.

2 beers.

0 beers.

99999999 beers.

a lizard in a beer glass.

\-1 beer.

"qwertyuiop" beers.

Testing complete.

A real customer walks into the bar and asks where the bathroom is.

The bar goes up in flames.

Why did the blind fly starve to death??

Because he couldn't see shit

Why are you flying with United Airlines?

Beats me.

What do you call a Persian lesbian?

A flying carpet muncher.

I'm so sorry.

Superman was flying over a city NSFW

And he sees Wonderwoman laying naked on a rooftop patio in the sun. He swoops down and before she knows it, he rails her and flies off. "What was that?" she cries. The invisible man says "I dunno, but my asshole sure hurts."

“Stewardess”

“Yes, Sir?”

“I want to complain about this airline. Every time I fly, I get the same seat, I can’t see the in-flight movie and there are no windows blinds so I can’t sleep.”

“Captain, shut up and land the plane.”

What do we want?

Low flying airplane noises!

When do we want them?

NNEEEEOOOOWWWWW

Teacher: Billy if there are 5 birds on a fence and you shoot 1 how many birds are left?

Billy: None the others would fly away at the sound of the gun.

Teacher: The answer is 4 but I like the way you think.

Billy: I have a question Miss. There are 3 women eating ice cream cones. 1 licking, 1 biting, and 1 sucking, which one is married?

Teacher blushing, nervously answers “the one sucking.”

Billy: The answer is the one wearing the wedding ring, but I like the way you think.

What's got two eyes, but can't see, two wings, but can't fly, and two legs, but can't walk?

A dead bird.

What car has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.

^^^^^sorry.

Congratulations to the winner of last night's presidential debate!

The Voyager probe, flying away from Earth at an estimated 62000 km per hour.