Kick jokes

A Jake Paul fan walked into a bar

and got kicked out for being 10.

My cock was actually in the Guinness Book of World Records once...

But it really pissed off the librarian and she kicked me out!

Friend: I got kicked out of math class today.

Me: Why? Friend: Turns out mouthwash doesn't come after 69.

I was holding a door open for an Asian Guy.

Once he went though, He said, 'Sank you'.

I Swore at him and kicked him in the Shin.

I Then said, 'Never bring up Pearl Harbor like that'

I remember the last thing my grandfather said to me before he kicked the bucket...

"How far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

What do you get when you mix human DNA with animal DNA?

Kicked out of the zoo.

Dad called me a cunt

I always buy him socks for Xmas. I said, "you bastard, it's the thought that counts." I could tell by the look in his eyes he would have kicked my head in if he had legs

I was kicked out of the army because I got gonorrhea

It was a dishonorable discharge

My wife kicked me out because of my terrible Arnold Schwarzenegger impressions. But don't worry,

I'll return.

Me - “What’s a 3 letter word for compete?”

Dracula - “Vie.”

Me - “It’s for a crossword.”

I saw this on Twitter(@clichedout) and it made me smile so hopefully someone else will get a kick out of it.

I asked my physician why he hits people on the knee with that little rubber headed hammer

He said "just for kicks"

Why was the dyslexic kid kicked out of the movie theater?

He kept asking where to buy cop porn.

A man wakes up after a heavy night of drinking to his wife happily cooking breakfast.

Confused, he approaches his daughter for an explanation of last night when he arrived home. "You kicked in the door when you couldn't get your key in the lock, fell through the table and broke it, and pissed your pants." "Jesus! So then why the hell is she in such a good mood?" "When she tried to take your pants off to wash them, you slapped her hand away and said, 'Get your hands off me! I'm married!'"

My grandfather warned people that the Titanic would sink

No one listened, but he kept on warning them nonetheless until they got sick of him and kicked him out the movie theatre

A man gets kicked out of police camp for writing "Who's that Pokémon" next to chalk outlines.

My drunk friend got kicked out of Karaoke for singing “Danger Zone” 7 times in a row.

He had exceeded the maximum number of Loggins attempts.

This joke has no punch line

But you might get a kick out of it

My son is a male trapped in a female's body, so we took him to a psychiatrist.

For some reason, the doc kicked us out when we told him our son was due in in 3 months.

Why was Cinderella kicked off the basketball team?

She kept running away from the ball.

My time machine broke, so I took it to the time machine repairman.

He just walked up to it, kicked it and said “they sure don’t make them like they will do soon.”