Letter jokes

When I noticed "HI" in the alphabet I thought I had made a new friend

But then I saw the next two letters.

What's a pirate's least favorite letter?

Dear Sir,

We have terminated your internet service due to illegal copyright violation practices.

Sincerely,

Your ISP

What is a pirate's favourite letter?

He doesn't have one. He's illiterate.

What do you find at the end of a rainbow?

A “W”

( joke from my 8 yo daughter)

I asked my wife, “I’m stuck on this crossword clue “Overworked Postman”— can you help?”

She said, “Sure. How many letters?”

Me: I’m guessing—- Too many.

What's a pirate's least favourite letter?

Dear Sir/Madam,

We are writing this letter to inform you that your account has been suspended for illegal downloading of copyrighted material

News from the sexual health clinic

A friend of mine received news from the sexual health clinic, he opened the letter and gleefully shouted "high five!". Relieved I took a look at the letter, dont know how I'm going to tell him that it's pronounced H.I.V

Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an "I". Student: I is the.... Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an "I". Always put 'am' after an "I". Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

I have always thought that the second letter in the word “Hive” is quite beautiful, after all .....

Beauty is in the I of the bee holder.

A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license.

First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test.

The optician showed him a card with the letters

' Z A S T R Z E Z Y N S K I '

'Can you read this?' the optician asked.

'Read it?' the Polish guy replied, 'I know the guy.'

My wife found out I was cheating after she found the letters I was hiding

She got mad and said she is never playing Scrabble with me again!

I've found a job helping a one armed typist do capital letters.

It's shift work

Why is C the only good letter in the English alphabet?

Because the others are Not-Cs

Genie: You have two wishes left

Me: I wish the letter G was the letter P instead

Penie: And your final wish?

Me: I wish that every E at the end of a word was an S instead

Penis:

Ms: Nics

Me: I'm afraid of random letters

Therapist: you are?

Me: "screams"

Therapist: Oh I see

Me: "continues to scream"

What do you get when you cross an Octopus and a Cow

A very stern letter from the Scientific Ethics Committee and immediate removal of your grant funding