CHEESEBURGER: $1.50 CHICKEN SANDWICH: $2.50 HAND JOB: $10.00
A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar that reads: CHEESEBURGER: $1.50 CHICKEN SANDWICH: $2.50 HAND JOB: $10.00
He walks up to the bar and beckons one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks. "Can I help you?" she asks. "I was wondering," whispers the man. "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?"
"Yes," she purrs. "I am."
The man replies, "Well, wash your hands. I want a cheeseburger."
How does Harry Potter like his sandwiches to be cut ?
Diagon alley
My mother used to always say "give your food a rinse before you eat it."
Lovely woman. Terrible sandwiches.
A guy walks into a bar and sees a sign that reads...
..."Cheese sandwich $3.50. Chicken sandwich $4.50. Handjob $5." He checks his wallet and calls over the waitress. He asks, "Are you the one who does the handjob?"
She smiles at him seductively and says, "I am."
He says, "Well, wash your fuckin' hands. I want a cheese sandwich."
There's a strange new trend at work, people are writing names on the food in the company fridge
Today I had a chicken sandwich named Kevin
My mum keeps moaning about the cost of things these days. £2.50 for a sandwich, £1.50 for coffee, £12.50 for a Sunday lunch....
So I say to her, “look Mum, my house, my prices!”
In a lesbian relationship, which one makes the sandwiches?
Neither. They eat out.
A sandwich walks into a bar and asks for a drink.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, we dont serve food here."
Two lawyers sit in a restaurant.
They're eating homemade sandwiches. The server comes along and stops them: "Excuse me, but it is not allowed to bring your own food here"
The lawyers share a glance, sigh and trade the sandwiches.
A cheese sandwich is better than complete happiness
Because nothing is better than complete happiness, and a cheese sandwich is better than nothing.
If Trump and Hillary are both drowning and you could only save one...
What type of sandwich would you make?
Met my school bully 10 years after I last saw him. He still takes my money today.
But on the other hand, he certainly knows how to make a decent sandwich.
2 lawyers are in a restaurant eating their sandwiches.
The owner walks in and says, "You can't eat your own food in here!"
The lawyers sigh and swap sandwiches.
Businessman walks into a motel/brothel. Ask the lady working the front desk...I'd like a room and for an extra $500, I want your oldest, fattest, meanest, boring in bed woman and a bologna sandwich. The receptionist looks at him confused and says for that price we could get you our youngest, kindest, skinniest, kinkiest girl and a steak dinner with all the trimmings. The man replys ma'am you don't understand me...I'm homesick.
Its disgusting how often women are subjected to sexism in todays society...
One of my feminist friends managed to get herself a new job recently, and literally the first thing her misogynist pig boss asked her to do was to make him a sandwich! Naturally my friend took a stand and quit on the spot, she's even talking about boycotting the entire company.
Fucking Subway...