Self jokes

Today my 4-year-old asked me what an autobiography is

So I said to her, "It's self-explanatory".

An Indian family went into self quarantine

after eating lunch at their English friend’s house as they couldn’t taste anything.

I once knew an arrogant sponge.

he was very self absorbed.

Last night, I was laying in my bed, looking up the stars as I thought to my self..

Where the fuck is my roof??

Whenever I go to a sauna, I must have the whole thing to my self...

I have selfish steam issues.

I tried making a joke about self isolation...

But I couldn’t come close

What do you call an emo a capella group?

Self harmony

I love self deprecating humour...

Too bad i suck at it.

Only self aware people will understand this joke.

You know who you are.

What type of flour do you buy an orphan? Self-raising.

What flour do you give an orphan? Self-raising.

I believe "Self-Baptism" is a nice way of saying "Failed Suicide Attempt."

If you put a photo of yourself in a pendant what does that make you?

Independent

Gandhi

Did you know that Gandhi used to have hot young women sleep naked in his bed with him? The idea was that he could conquer his baser desires and prove his self-control by abstaining from sex with them.

I tried a similar thing by leaving half a box of Double Stuff Oreos on my counter, and I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m pretty sure Gandhi banged every single one of those chicks.

I spotted my ex girlfriend across the hall of the museum, but I was too self conscious to go say hello.

There was just too much history between us.

A lot of people seem surprised when I tell them I regularly have sex with my boss

One of the many perks of self employment.

I like using self-deprecating humor.

I'm just not very good at it.

I am absolutely exhausted from my French self-defense class.

I've never run so far in my life.

I like my women like I like my Uranium-235

Self-destructive, toxic, and decaying on the inside

If you lose one senses, your other senses become stronger.

That's why people without a sense of humour have such a high sense of self importance