On their first date, a man asked his gal if she'd like a drink.
"Oh, no, what would I tell my Sunday school class?" she said.
Later, he offered her a cigarette.
"Oh, no, what would I tell my Sunday school class?" she said again.
On the drive home, he saw a motel. Figuring he had nothing to lose, he asked if she wanted to stop in there.
"Okay," his date replied.
"What will you tell your Sunday school class?" he asked, shocked.
"The same thing I always tell them. 'You don't have to drink or smoke to have a good time.' "
What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Slow down and use Lubricant.
Remember, if you smoke after sex
you’re doing it too fast.
I got stopped by the police around 3am last night. The officer asked me where I was going at that time of night...
I replied, "I'm on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late"
The officer, " Oh really........ and Who's giving that lecture at this time of night?"
I replied, "That would be my wife"
Do you know what French people smoke?
Oui’d.
Who would have thought that one day we'd be smoking weed at a family gathering....
.....but the illegal part would be the gathering.
I was on a bus when this girl offered to blow me for $5...
...and never being a person to pass up a good deal, I gave her $5 and watched her do her thing. After she was finished she lit up a cigarette and started smoking right there on the bus.
I was disgusted. I thought to myself, "What is this world coming to? Who sells cigarettes to a 12 year old?"
how do you know you are a real redneck?
you let your 12yr old daughter smoke in front of her kids.
The female janitor at my building asked if I would chill and smoke some weed with her
I said no. I can't deal with high maintenance women
Why shouldn't you smoke weed during a thunder storm?
Because lightning strikes the highest object.
Today I decided I won't smoke anymore
I won't smoke any less either though.
An Irish man is pulled from a burning bar..
He is completely covered in soot and smells strongly of smoke.
When asked about how the fire started the man says "damned if I know, the place was in blazes when I got 'ere!"
