You jokes

Have you heard of an Australian kiss?

.. it’s like a French kiss but down under!!

Why is Ireland the wealthiest country in the world?

because its capital is always dublin.

Great minds think alike...

That's why we have so many opinions in America

What’s the difference between Ironman and Ironwoman?

One is a superhero and the other is a command.

(Be gentle its my first joke)

Where do bad rainbows go?

Prism.

Latvian Joke.

What are one potato say other potato? Premise ridiculous. Who have two potato?

Today I was in the bank when two men came in wearing masks...

Everyone felt a huge relief when they told us it's only a bank robbery.

I always wanted my life to be a meme.

Dead in a week

My dad used to beat me while playing chess...

Because I'd always win.

After sex I like to cook for my husband....

He usually appreciates coming home from work to a hot meal.

Dad jokes and Yo Mama jokes seem like they'd be the same

But the difference is a parent.

What's better than a paradox?

A pair of nurses

I've discovered that 1+1 can, in fact, equal 3.

Because I wasn't wearing a condom.

What do you call a person who has outstanding street smarts?

A roads scholar

Heisenberg is pulled over by the cops

The cop asks “Do you know how fast you were going?”

Heisenberg replies “No, but I know where I am.”

An Apple store I was at today just got robbed.

I guess that makes me an iWitness.

Buying my girl an engagement ring was a lot like getting new tires for the truck..

Even though she looks the same, she rode much better afterwards.

A man rushes into the emergency room with 10 plastic horses up his rectum.

His condition is now listed as stable.

Me and my friend are going to form a band called 'the duvets'

Mainly going to be a cover band

I heard prisoners get drunk a lot ...

They hang around bars 24/7.