Bike jokes

My dog wouldn't stop chasing people on bikes.

In the end, I had to take his bike away.

The police came to my house earlier and said my dog has chased someone on a bike.

I said, "You must be joking. My dog hasn't got a bike."

*(Reposted because I completely messed up the punchline in the original post, and have only just realised.)*

A little boy calls his best friend on Christmas day...

“HEY! So what did you get for Christmas?” The second little boy pauses and says “well I got a gift card and a t-shirt...you?”

The first little boy excitedly replies ”Oh man, I got a new scooter, a new 3DS XL. A PS Vita. A new bike and were going to Disneyland on Friday. Can’t believe all you got was a gift card and t-shirt!” to which the second little boy replies “well...at least I don’t have cancer...”

Two engineer students were biking across campus.

One said to the other, "Where did you get such a great bike?"

The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."

The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice: The clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."

Police just knocked on my door and said my dog is chasing a kid on his bike.

What a liar, my dog doesn't even have a bike.

I saw a black guy riding a bike near my house yesterday

I thought it was mine. So I checked the garage and it was still chained up, asking for food.

Gender roles are changing. Nowadays some women get mad when you hold a car door open.

Particularly the ones on bikes.

Cop on horse says to little girl on bike, "Did Santa get you that?"

"Yes," replies the little girl.

"Well tell him to put a reflector light on it next year!" and fines her $5.

The little girl looks up at the cop and says, "Nice horse you've got there, did Santa bring you that?"

The cop chuckles and replies, "He sure did!"

"Well," says the little girl, "Next year tell Santa that the d*ck goes under the horse, not on top of it!"

A Jewish Black kid walks up to his dad and asks if he is more Black than Jewish.

"Why son?" The dad asks. "Because there is a kid at school selling his bike for $50 and I was wondering if I should talk him down to $30 or just steal it."

So a cop knocked on my door this morning.

He asked, 'sir we believe your dog has been chasing a boy up the road on his bike.'

I replied, 'sorry officer, you must have the wrong house. My dog doesn't own a bike.'