Call jokes

I called the tinnitus hotline

but it just kept ringing :/

Have you heard of the sexual maneuver called the "Reverse Hitler"?

It's where you ejaculate inside of an anus. i.e. create 6 million lives in a gas chamber.

A group of introverts is called an oxymoron

Please help me

What is the area at the Danish/German border called?

The DaneGer zone!

I'll show myself out.

If the USSR got back together

Would it be called the Soviet Reunion?

Ladies call me Subway...

because I’ve got low quality meat and lie about being 6 inches

Found 4 fox cubs

I called the ISPCA today and said, "I've just found a suitcase in the woods containing a fox and four cubs."

"That's terrible," the woman on the phone replied. "Are they moving?"

"I'm not sure, to be honest," I said, "But that would explain the suitcase."

What do you call it when someone gets their whole face tattooed?

An everlasting job stopper.

The argument

So a guy calls the front desk of the hotel he's staying at and says, "I'm in room 858. You need to send someone to my room immediately. I'm having an argument with my wife and she says she's going to jump out the window."

The front clerk says, "I'm sorry sir, but that sounds like a personal issue."

And the guy says, "No, it's a maintenance issue. The window won't open."

A PS4 fan and an Xbox One fan started fighting! Someone call the ambulance!

*Wii U Wii U Wii U Wii U*

What do you call a bulletproof Irishman?

Rick O'Shea

I decided to stop calling the bathroom "John" and renamed it the "Jim".

I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.

Apparently they're removing the essay section from the SAT

Now it's just going to be called the T.

What do you call a sad robot?

A woebot. :(

This Halloween I decided to go as a harp. As I walked into the party, a gentleman asked, "what are you supposed to be?"

"A harp", I replied. "No, no. You're much too small to be a harp" he protested. So I asked, "are you calling me a lyre?"

Firemen are called to a burning pub. They drag out an Irishman and asked him how the fire started.

"I don't know." He says, "It was on fire when I went in there."

People need to stop calling me "Karen" It's so offensive.

Me: That's fine we'll go back to what we used to call you.

Karen: Thanks....

Me: You're welcome, Miserable fucking Bitch.

Please stop calling Donald Trump an idiot.

As an idiot myself, it's very offensive that people think he's one of us.

Got my stimulus check on St. Patrick’s Day

Call that luck of the IRS.

What do you call an alligator in a vest?

An investigator.