Communist jokes

I broke up with my girlfriend of 5 years because I found out she was communist

I should have known, there were red flags everywhere

Everyone says that China doesn't have any freedom of speech. That's obviously untrue.

In the United States, you can go up to the White House and shout "Down with America!", and you won't be punished for it.

Similarly, in China, you can go up to the Communist Party Headquarters and shout "Down with America!", and you won't be punished for it.

\----------

Wanted to update an oldie but goodie to modern times.

Baby are you communist?

Because there is an uprising in my lower class

Communist jokes aren’t funny

Unless everyone gets them

What do you call a communist pirate ship?

The USS-ARRR

Communists jokes on internet aren't memes

They're ourours

Back in the U.S.S.R.

An old Jew is on his deathbed. With weak voice he asks to call for a partorg because before his death he wants to join the Communist Party. A happy partorg rushes to him with filled out membership form to sign and a ready Party membership card. As the Jew signs the form he carefully takes the membership card and presses it against his heart. In a peaceful and happy voice he whispers: "Today one more communist will die"

Two communists are sitting together at a nudist colony.

One turns to the other and asks “Have you read Marx?” The second replies “yes, it’s these damn wicker chairs!”

What did the communist use before they used candles?

electricity.

What do you call a Communist Sniper?

A Marxman.

A man and his wife are arguing, the man says it's going to rain, the woman says it isn't.

"Let's ask Rudolph, the communist police officer"says the man

"It might, the sky is pretty cloudy" says the policeman

The man turns to his wife and says: "See, Rudolph the red knows rain, dear"