COVID jokes

The spread of Covid 19 is based on 2 factors...

1) How dense the population is.

2) How dense the population is.

Not sure why people are getting grief for using ivermectin to combat covid

The label clearly states it is safe for use in donkeys and jackassess.

I have a joke about the exceptional healthcare and medicine Trump took to recover from COVID.

But, no one else would get it.

Damn girl, do you have Covid?

Because if you’re talking to me, then you have no taste.

A Covid test nurse asked me if I’ve had a sudden loss of taste.

I told her, "No, I've dressed like this for quite a while."

I got fired on the first day of my new job at the hospital

Apparently telling all the COVID patients to stay positive is not a good thing.

COVID jokes aren't funny

They're downright tasteless.

Why don’t ants get Covid?

Because they have tiny little anty bodies.

President Trump has tested positive for COVID-19

Doctors are expecting a swift recovery, citing that the virus is a hoax and fake news.

I really wish people would start taking Covid more seriously...

I don't wanna have to learn the entire Greek alphabet.

I stopped showering or changing my clothes, as a precaution against COVID-19.

If anybody gets within six feet of me, I know they must have lost their sense of smell.

The fact Ozzy has COVID now just shows bats always get their revenge.

(All the best to them, hope he gets to live a long time)

Covid-19 stopped mass shootings faster than the government.

I got my covid test results and I'm so confused.. it was just the number 83...

On the plus side my IQ test came back positive

COVID is bringing everyone a little closer to being Batman

Either you are wearing a mask or your parents are dead.

What does COVID and riding a motorcycle have in common?

You can do everything right but other people can still fuck you over.

So Boris Johnson has tested positive for COVID-19...

Anyone else concerned with how quickly the virus has jumped from human to politician?

Donald Trump is receiving a CoViD-19 briefing in the Oval Office.

The head of the CDC tells the president that today 14 Brazilian people have died from the virus.

Trump shouts “Oh my GOD!” and slams his head down in his hands on the Resolute Desk. He begins to weep.

After a minute or so, he collects himself, looks up from his desk, and asks his advisors, “How many is a ‘brazillion?’”

I’m convinced COVID couldn’t have come from China...

Nothing from China lasts 2 years

Ever wonder how a Jehovah’s Witness spreads their word during Covid?

Now that you’re here, do you have a moment to talk about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ?