Crash

Did you read the joke about the waiters that ran into each other?

I couldn't, the servers crashed.

If Donald Trump, Rudy Giuliani, Bill Barr, Stephen Miller, and Jared Kushner we're on Air Force One together and the plane were to suddenly crash, who would survive?

The United States of America.

What did microsoft say to the attractive girl in the room?

Can I crash at your place tonight?

My Wife told me to treat her like a princess

So I put her in the back of my car and crashed it into a tunnel

There was a plane crash and every single person died

All the married couples survived

What did Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashed?

Nothing.

A small plane crashed in the middle of the desert. The pilot and co-pilot wandered around for days in search of food, but could find nothing. Finally the co-pilot announced: ‘I’m so hungry....

I’m going to chop off my dick and eat it.’ ‘Before you do,’ said the pilot. ‘Think of your girlfriend.’ ‘What’s the point? At this rate I will never see her again anyway.’ ‘I know, but if you think of her first, hopefully there will be enough for both of us

There was a pretty awkward silence at the dinner table, so I decided to talk about the crashing of the titanic.

That seemed like a good way to break the ice.

A plane is about to crash

A female passenger gets up and frantically announces, "if I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."

She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"

A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "here iron this."

What do you take care of after a car crash? The witnesses.

Why did Chewbacca crash the Millennium Falcon the first time he flew it?

It was a Wookiee mistake.

The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve.

It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.

My friend was visiting from Barcelona, and he asked me if he could crash on my couch.

I wasn't expecting some kind of Spanish imposition!

A farmer saw a plane full of politicians crash near his farm. When the police arrived, they asked the farmer what happened.

Farmer: They crashed near my farm and I buried all of them.

One of the police men asked with shock; "are you sure they were all dead"?

Farmer: Some of them were screaming, "we are still alive".

But I couldn't believe them.

You know, these politicians. They can lie.

I crashed into a dwarf at some traffic lights

He got out of his car and said "I'm not happy." I replied, "Well, which one are you then?"

9 Blondes and 1 Brunette are holding onto the wing of a weighed down rapidly descending aircraft.

They all realize one must let go to save the rest of them.

The plane is about 1000 meters away from crashing, when the brunette starts to say that she will heroicly let go of the wing of the plane to save the 9 others.

She gets a few a tears and cries of “Nooo” but as she finishes, all the Blondes clap.