The four seasons were arguing about which of them was the best.
Winter: Well you can build snowmen, and the snow is so beautiful. And Christmas!! Everyone loves Christmas!
Spring: Well sure but come springtime everything is so fresh and new! All the new flowers, it can't get much better than that!
Summer: yes but I am undoubtably the overall best season, girls in bikinis, ice cream, nice weather. You can't top that. What about you autumn what do you have to offer?
Autumn: * leaves *
The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve.
It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.
What does COVID and riding a motorcycle have in common?
You can do everything right but other people can still fuck you over.
After Generation Z, the next generation should be called generation AA
It would fit even better because they will be the generation to grow up with batteries inside everything.
Two little boys were known troublemakers, stealing everything they could get their hands, even from the church.
One day a priest stopped one of the boys and asked, "Where is God?" The boy shrugged and the priest repeated, "Where is God?" The boy ran out of the cathedral crying to his home where he hid in a closet. Eventually his brother found him and asked, "What's wrong?" The crying boy replied, "We're in trouble now! God is missing and they think we took him.
I want to visit north Korea one day...
before everything goes south.
I need help with my sex addiction...
I tried fucking everything!
A German couple has a baby...
For 4 years he makes no sound, does not speak. Then one day the mother gives him soup, he says “This soup is cold.” The parents are amazed and ask “If you can talk, why have you not spoken before?” The child replies “Up to now everything has been satisfactory!”
An old woman reaches the end of her life..
A very old woman realizes that she's seen and done everything and the time has come to depart from this world. After considering various methods of doing away with herself, she decides to shoot herself through the heart.
Not wanting to make a mistake, she phones her doctor and asks him the exact location of the heart. He tells her that the heart is located two inches below the left nipple.
The old woman hangs up the phone, takes careful aim and shoots herself in the left knee.
They say alcohol cures everything, but that's a lie...
It still hasn't cured my alcoholism.
A wife decided to leave for a vacation, leaving her husband in supervision of her mother and her cat.
After a few days, she called her husband and asked, “How is everything going?”
“The cat is dead,” he replied coldly.
She cried out and said, “You could have said the cat is playing on the roof on the first day, and the next day, it broke its leg, then the next that the poor thing’s dead!
No reply. The wife sighed sadly, “Anyways, how’s my mom?”
“She’s playing on the roof.”
I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control
I thought to myself... "Well this changes everything!"