Store jokes

Employee

Employee

When I was at the grocery store, I asked an employee where the cereal was, and he said, "I'll see." And walks off. 5 minutes later, I asked another employee about the cereal, and he too said, "I'll see," and walks off.

I eventually found it myself. It was in aisle C.

Man

Man

A man walks into a hardware store and speaks to the cashier...

“Got any 2 watt bulbs?”

“For what?”

“That’ll do I’ll take two.”

“Two what?”

“I thought you didn’t have any.”

“Any what?”

“Ok then!”

Captain hook

Captain hook

Where did Captain Hook buy his hook?

At the second hand store!

Dog

Dog

Where do dogs go when their tail falls off?

The retail store

Memory

Memory

How much memory does it take to store a joke?

1 Gigglebyte.

Whisk

Whisk

I never thought I'd be shoplifting from a kitchen supply store

But that's a whisk I'm willing to take

House

House

The Lego store near my house just reopened after lockdown...

People were lining up for blocks.

Balloon

Balloon

I was at the dollar store and saw balloons labeled $1 a piece. I grabbed 3 and went to the cashier who told me the total was $5.28.

I guess that’s the price of inflation

Truth

Truth

There are three religious truths:

Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.

Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith.

Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or Hooters.

Call

Call

A close call.

Yesterday I was walking on the streets in my hometown Rotterdam, in the Netherlands. I was about to go to the grocery store when I saw a black man running with a TV. I was afraid of it being mine, so I ran home as quick as possible, but luckily mine was still there, polishing my shoes.

Fart

Fart

I farted in an Apple store and everyone got pissed

It’s not my fault they don’t have Windows!

Amazon

Amazon

Went to buy a lighter on Amazon,

when I searched, it said, "4.2 million matches found!" Guess I'll have to go to the store.

Friend

Friend

I was real upset when I lost my nonbinary friend at the store

But I felt better when someone told me "They're there"

Copy

Copy

Went to the book store for the Christmas sale “1/3 off all titles”

I got a lovely copy of “The Lion, The Witch”

Kid

Kid

I remember when I was a kid, I could go to the store with $1 and come home with 3 bags of chips, 2 candy bars, 6 packs of now or laters, and an ice cold drink.

Nowadays, they got cameras everywhere.

Woman

Woman

A woman says to her engineer husband...

"Could you please go to the store for me and buy a carton of milk. And if they have eggs, get six."

A short time later the husband comes back with six cartons of milk. The wife asks, "Why the heck did you buy six cartons of milk?"

"They had eggs."

Point

Point

Why is it called "canning" if it's storing things in glass containers and not cans?

Because renaming it at this point would be jarring.

Furniture store

Furniture store

The furniture store keeps calling me back.

But all I wanted was that one nightstand.

Box

Box

A few weeks ago I ordered a box to store my money and a set of speakers online.

They arrived today, safe and sound.

Person

Person

Where do dead people buy their cigarettes?

At the coroner store.