Women jokes

I understand now why women have long hair

If I had to pay as much for a haircut, I'd put it off too.

Why do jewish women like circumcised penises?

What jew doesn't like 10% off?

Doctor, how can I live longer than 100 years?

Do you smoke? No.

Do you eat too much? No.

Do you go to bed late? No.

Do you have affairs with promiscuous women? No.

Then why would you want to live more than 100 years?

Why are women and children evacuated first in a disaster?

So we can think about a solution in silence.

#1 Handjob Tip for Women:

Use your mouth.

Did you hear about the guy who escaped from a lunatic asylum, raped a bunch of old women in a laundrette then ran away?

The newspaper headlines the next day read:

#**NUT SCREWS WASHERS AND BOLTS**#

According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a woman is her eyes.

Women say the first thing they notice about men is that they're a bunch of liars.

My wife said to me the other day, "Why did God give women periods with cramp pains, and men nothing?"

I laughed and replied, "Don't be silly, he gave us women."

If FemDom is enjoying being dominated by women...

Is wisdom enjoying being dominated by Wizards?

Why are there gingerbread men but not gingerbread women?

It's the pastryarchy.

90% of the women that wear yoga pants dont do yoga

And 100% of men dont care.

Men need to start going to target to meet women

The women to men ratio is 10 to 1 and they’re already looking for things they don’t need

Why do Jewish men get circumcised?

because Jewish women won't accept anything unless it has at least 20% off.

A soldier serving overseas far from home was annoyed and upset when his girl wrote to break off their engagement and ask for her photograph back.

He went out and collected from his friends all the unwanted photographs of women that he could find, bundled them all together, and sent them back with a note saying, “I regret that I cannot remember which one you are.

Please keep your photo and return the others.”

What do you call an orgy with 8 women?

Octopus.

The reason for the wage gap is that men have high paying jobs like doctor, lawyer, etc. while women usually have lower paying jobs...

...like female doctor, female lawyer, etc.

BREAKING: New Study Shows Getting Hit in the Testicles is More Painful than Childbirth

After childbirth 34% of women said “Yes” they would like to have another child.

After getting hit in the testicles ~0% of men said “Yes” they’d like to do that again.

After my wife died i couldn't look at women for 20 years

But when i got out of prison, it was totally worth it

Without women, sex would be a pain in the ass.

Women are like blackjack. I’m trying for 21, but I always hit on 14.