8 jokes

They say that the 10 types of people in this world are those that can read binary and those that get laid.

Can someone explain to me the other 8 types?

Ladies call me The Weather Man

I promise 8 inches, but only give you 2.

There's something crazy I really want to try in bed..

Getting 8 hours of sleep

I had the best Dad moment last night... *actual conversation with my 8 year old*

Son: Dad... how many kidneys do I have?

Me: Two. You have two, son.

Son: Nope... I have four. *point to belly* Two kidneys here... *points to legs* ...and two kid knees here!

The student has become the teacher.

Guy orders 11 shots at a bar

Bartender says "What are you celebrating?" Guys says "My first blowjob" Bartenders says "Congrats, but why 11 shots?" Guys says "I figured by the 11th the taste would be out of my mouth. "

First dirty joke I told my parents when I was 8. The punishment was worth it.

Bill Gates is pulled over by a police officer one night after his car is seen swerving on the highway

The police officer asks, "Have you had anything to drink tonight, sir?"

Bill says, "Absolutely not, officer."

The cop says, "Can you please count backwards from 10 for me?"

• ⁠

Bill replies, "10, 8, 7, Vista, XP, ME, 2000, NT, 98, 95, 3, 2, 1."

Have you heard about these new corduroy pillows?

They've really been making headlines.

-courtesy of my 8 year old niece.

So I heard the royal baby was 8 pounds.

That's awfully cheap for a human baby.

Bob the builder meets a pretty lass in the bar

He says to her, “I have an 8 inch dick and can fuck all night.” After a few drinks she takes him home and they fuck. The next day she says to him “You said your dick was 8 inches long and you could last all night. Instead, your dick was 5 inches and you only lasted 3 minutes!” He replies, “I’m a builder love, it’s only an estimate.”

What age were you when you realized you wanted to be a dancer?

I think I was around 5, 6, 7, 8

If you were 8 years old when "Red, Red Wine" was released

UB40 now.

What do you call an orgy with 8 women?

Octopus.

The Boss always insisted that only Abdul should serve his coffee, but

yesterday, this conversation happened.

Boss: Abdul, since the last 8 years you have brought me coffee filled to the brim without spilling even a drop. How do you manage that over these stairs?

Abdul: Sir, just before I climb up the stairs, I take a big sip. As I get upstairs, I put it back.

Today is Abdul's farewell party.

The woman who injected her 8-year old daughter with Botox for beauty pageants has lost custody.

The child didn't look surprised.

I took my 8-year-old to the office on Take Your Child to Work Day. As we were walking around,she started crying and getting very cranky,so I asked her what was wrong. As my coworkers gathered around,she sobbed "Daddy, where are all the clowns that you said you worked with?"

If you drink the liquid from a Magic 8 Ball you can tell the future..

My friend Keith did it once and then said he was gonna die, and he did

What do you find at the end of a rainbow?

A “W”

( joke from my 8 yo daughter)

What is the difference between girls aged:8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58 and 68?

At 8 – You take her to bed and tell her a story. At 18 – You tell her a story and take her to bed. At 28 – You don’t need to tell her a story to take her to bed. At 38 – She tells you a story and takes you to bed. At 48 – You tell her a story to avoid going to bed. At 58 – You stay in bed to avoid her story. At 68 – If you take her to bed, that’ll be a story!

How did 8 kill 18?

8/8/18

What do you get when you pick a pig's nose?

Hamboogers

My 8 year old told me this one, i told him it was snot funny.