B jokes

I wish my girlfriend wasn't so obsessed about her breast size. Even a trip to the car dealership became embarrassing.

She told the guy she wanted something that'll get her from A to B.

Mark went for a walk in the park.

As he strolled up the path he heard someone shout, "Mark!"

He stopped and turned his head, and heard it again. "Mark!"

There was nobody around except for an old man on a bench with his dog, so he walked closer.

"Mark! Mark!" said the dog, tugging on its leash in the man's hands.

Mark was taken aback. "You.. you know my name?! ..and can ***talk***?"

"Oh?" the man lifted his head. "I'm sorry, she can't pronounce her B's".

An E, F Sharp, G, A, B, C, D, and another E walk into a bar.

The bartender shakes his head and says, “sorry, we don’t serve minors here.”

If pronouncing my b's as v's makes me sound Russian...

.... then soviet.

If A is for apple, B is for banana, what is C for?

Plastic explosives

My cousin died last week; he needed a blood transfusion, but we didn't know his blood type. He just kept saying, "B positive, B positive," but it's hard to be positive with him gone.

Why do koi always swim in groups of 4?

So that while the A koi, B koi and C koi escape the predator will always go for the D koi

What do you call a bunch of hedge funds that already lost $70 B shorting stocks?

A good start. HOLD the LINE.

What is the only key a piano can play in after it was dropped down the mine shaft?

Minor B flat

Why does the Little Mermaid wear seashells?

She outgrew her B-shells.

It’s confirmed . Fresh cow dung can stop corona

Dip both your hands in fresh cow dung before going out.

This will make sure that

a) you will not touch your eyes, nose, ear or mouth.

b) nobody will shake hands with you.

c) Nobody will come near you when you are out in the streets.

d) You will wash your hands thoroughly before you eat.

Doesn't the "B" in LGBT

... imply there are only 2 genders?

A teacher asks her students,"Can anybody spell before?"

Carey stands up and says, "Before. B -e- f -o- r.Before."

"No that is wrong.Sit down."say4s the teacher."

"Frankie, can you spell before?"

Frankie stands up and says, "Before.B - e- e- f -o-r.Before!"

"No, that's not right either.Tyrone, can you spell before?"

Tyrone stands up and says,"Before. B-e-f-o-r-e! Before!"

"Outstanding!"says the teacher."Now, can you use it in a sentence?"

Tyrone stands up and says,

" 2+2 before."