Call jokes

A proud father has six children.

He always calls his wife "Mother of Six," to her displeasure. One night at a party, he yells across the room, "Mother of six, we're leaving now."

She replies, "Be right with you, father of four."

Back in the U.S.S.R.

An old Jew is on his deathbed. With weak voice he asks to call for a partorg because before his death he wants to join the Communist Party. A happy partorg rushes to him with filled out membership form to sign and a ready Party membership card. As the Jew signs the form he carefully takes the membership card and presses it against his heart. In a peaceful and happy voice he whispers: "Today one more communist will die"

What do you call a bunch of zombies dressed as Superheroes?

The Necro Comic-Con

If Joe Biden’s wife is called the first lady, what do we call his mother?

Joe mama.

A woman calls 911 and paramedics rush her unconscious husband to the hospital She limps into the ER as the nurses wheel him in on a stretcher,

his enormous erection clearly visible under the sheet. The doctor runs some tests and says to her "Ma'am, it appears your husband overdosed on Viagra and is in a coma. How long has he been like this?"

"About 4 days" she replies

"4 days?! Why did you wait until now to get help?"

"I ran out of lube this morning"

What do you call a dead body and two planks?

A "Build your own Jesus" kit.

What is the phobia of chainsaws called?

Common Sense

What do you call a fear of giants?

Fe Fi Fo-bia

What do you call an old ant?

An antique

What do you call a hippie's wife from the South?

Mississippi

A man goes to the doctor and says, “Doctor, my sex life is not very good, I can’t perform very well in bed.”

The doctor says, “You don’t look very fit, are you getting any exercise?” The man replied that he wasn’t exercising at all, so the doctor said, “I want you to walk 5 miles a day, then call me in a week and tell me if things have improved.” The man calls the doctor a week later and the doctor says, “Are you performing any better in bed now?” The man says, “I don’t know, I’m 35 miles away.”

After Generation Z, the next generation should be called generation AA

It would fit even better because they will be the generation to grow up with batteries inside everything.

I can't believe I got a life sentence for a little insider trading

The judge called it "organ harvesting", but that's just semantics

We should have a TV show where illegal immigrants hunt down sex offenders for a chance at citizenship

We can call it "Alien vs Predator"

Do you know why insulin has gotten so expensive?

Well, it’s not called Liveabetes, now is it?

What do you call a pig with three eyes?

A piiig

What do you call children born in whorehouses?

Brothel sprouts.

What's it called when a crab is walking to it's part time job?

A side hustle.

What do you call a fight between a Mexican and a priest?

Alien vs predator

Have you heard the disease you get from kissing birds?

It's called Chirpes.

It's a canerial disease.

It's untweetable.