Cancer jokes

A Man Goes To His Doctor

Doctor: “ Pick a star sign. Any star sign” Man: “Alright, i choose Capricorn” Doctor: “Nah you got Cancer”

A little boy calls his best friend on Christmas day...

“HEY! So what did you get for Christmas?” The second little boy pauses and says “well I got a gift card and a t-shirt...you?”

The first little boy excitedly replies ”Oh man, I got a new scooter, a new 3DS XL. A PS Vita. A new bike and were going to Disneyland on Friday. Can’t believe all you got was a gift card and t-shirt!” to which the second little boy replies “well...at least I don’t have cancer...”

I went to see a fortune teller last night. She looked at me and said, "In five years time you will have 3 children."

"But I already have 4 children!" I laughed. She said, "I know, cancer is a bastard."

I said to my girlfriend that I think she'd look sexier with her hair back...

Which is apparently an insensitive thing to say to a cancer patient.

A pirate goes to a doctor

worried that the moles on his back might be cancerous. The doctor inspects them. "It's ok," he says. "They're benign." The pirate replies "Check 'em again matey, I think there be at least ten!"

Started smoking for this girl who told me she was into people with cancer

Turns out she was talking about zodiacs. Anyway I've got three months to live.

I've already heard like seven cancer jokes today...

If I hear tumor, it's gonna benign.

My wife's star sign was cancer and it's quite ironic how she died really...

She was attacked by a giant crab.

Man should ejaculate 21 times per month

Research says a man should ejaculate 21 times per month to reduce risk of developing prostate cancer.

It's June 2020 and I'm already done with August 2023