A Briton, a Frenchman, and a Russian are standing and staring at a portrait of Adam and Eve...
"Look at their calm, their reserve" says the Briton. "Surely they must be British!"
"Nonsense!" Replies the Frenchman. "They are beautiful. Surely they must be French!"
The Russian finally speaks, "they have no clothes, no shelter, only an apple to eat, and are being told this is paradise. They are Russian."
My friend went on holiday to Havana...
...and asked me what gift I would like him to get for me. I said get me "something Cuban", but he got me a Che Guevara t shirt.
Clothes, but no cigar.
Two engineer students were biking across campus.
One said to the other, "Where did you get such a great bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."
The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice: The clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."
I saw a Nun with her clothes inside-out today...
I asked her about it, and she said it was *a bad habit of hers*
A man walks into the doctors and says he has something wrong with his penis...
... the doctor says “Ok, take off your clothes so I can do an examination”
The man does as he says and the doctor examines his penis
The doctor says “Sir, I’m afraid you need to stop masturbating”
The man says “Why?”
The doctor says “Because I need to do the examination”
What type of clothing does Trump have a secret collection of?
Russian ties.
I think my wife is cheating on me with an undertaker.
I could swear she was wearing clothes when she died.
I stopped showering or changing my clothes, as a precaution against COVID-19.
If anybody gets within six feet of me, I know they must have lost their sense of smell.
WARNING!! They said you only have to wear masks and gloves to go grocery shopping but they LIED!
Apparently you have to wear clothes too.
A plane is about to crash
A female passenger gets up and frantically announces, "if I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."
She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "here iron this."
How can you tell your girlfriend is getting fat?
She starts fitting into your wife’s clothes.
What is the difference between one night stand, long relationship and marriage?
in one night stand you tear off the panties
in long relationship you gently remove the panties
in marriage you wash and dry the panties. then fold them and put them in the clothes cupboard.
I like to do my laundry naked so that all my clothes are clean.
Unfortunately, the patrons at the laundromat don't seem to agree.
I met two guys wearing matching clothing. So i asked them if they were gay.
They promptly arrested me
A wife is speaking to her husband...
Wife: I have a bag full of used clothing I’d like to donate.
Husband: why not just throw it in the trash? That’s much easier.
Wife: but there are poor starving people who could really use all of these clothes.
Husband: honey, anyone who fits into your clothing is not starving.
My brother took being sent to prison really badly.
He was yelling and screaming, took off his clothes, and would not accept any food from anyone.
That was the last time we played monopoly.
Jack and his wife lived in Arizona where the summers are very hot. He woke up one day when they were having a heat wave. As he stepped out of the shower he complained to his wife saying, “it’s just too hot to wear any clothes on a day like this. What would the neighbors think if I mowed the lawn with no clothes.” “That I married you only for your money.”
My friends told my my clothes were gay
I told them yes, they came out of the closet this morning
I'm no Trumper but these so called "health experts" are liars!
They said a mask and gloves was enough to go to the grocery store!!
When I got there, everyone else also had clothes on :/
Give a man some clothes and he’ll be clothed for a day.
Teach a man to weave and he’ll be naked for a very long time.