Difference jokes

What's the difference between an American and a computer?

American don't have trouble shooting.

Joke told in the Soviet Union

(For context only 1/7 Soviets owned a car, and once you paid up front there was a 10 year wait to get one)

A man walks into the car store wanting to buy a car. He pays the man at the counter and the man at the counter says “Alright, just come back in 10 years to pick one up.” The man replies “Morning or afternoon?” The dealer says “Well, 10 years from now what difference does it make?” The man replies “Well, the plumbers coming over in the morning.”

I’m reading a book that tries to compare different versions of The Bible.

There is a lot of cross referencing.

What's the difference between a Humanities student and a large order of pizzas?

One of them can feed a family.

Difference between a cult and a religion

In a cult, there's a guy at the top that knows it's a scam.

In a religion, that guy is dead.

What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and the Statue of Liberty? The statue stands for something.

What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and the computer he's hooked up to? The computer runs.

What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie-talkie? Stephen can't walkie, and Stephen can't talkie.

What the difference between a catholic priest and a pimple?

Pimples wait until puberty to come on your face.

What is the difference between Germany and the bermuda triangle?

The bermuda triangle has three points.

What's the difference between Republicans and Ukrainians?

Ukrainians defend their Capitol.

What’s the difference between Ironman and Ironwoman?

One is a superhero and the other is a command.

(Be gentle its my first joke)

Dad jokes and Yo Mama jokes seem like they'd be the same

But the difference is a parent.

What's the difference between a hipster and a homeless man?

An Instagram account.

Courtesy of my 11-year-old: Dad, what's the difference between a humorous reference and an imaginary bread?

One is a wry allusion and the other is a rye illusion.

What's the difference between an art student and a park bench?

A bench can support a family.

A dying husband in a hospital bed asks his wife, "Our seventh child always looked different from the other six. Did he have a different father?"

His wife, crying uncontrollably answers, "Yes."

He asks, "Whose is it?"

His wife replies, "Yours!"

What's the difference between a raver and a chemist at a club?

One drops acid while the other drops the base.

Why is a woman's orgasm so much different from a man's?

Because her O varies.

TIL that "Call of Duty" has a different name in the Middle-East

They call it "The Sims"