Part jokes

How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two, obviously. How they got inside the lightbulb is the part I don't understand...

The worst part about working at the unemployment office?

When you get fired, you still have to show up the next day.

To those who say "alcohol is not the solution":

Alcohol is a solvent. By definition, it's part of the solution.

What’s the cheapest part of a house?

The roof tiles, because they’re on the house.

What is the most sensitive part of your body when masturbating?

Your ears

When you die, what part of the body dies last?

The pupils...they dilate.

Fact

When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90% of their bodies...... Men are so polite that they only look at the covered parts!

Two immigrants from Africa arrive in the United States and are discussing the difference between their country and the U.S.

One of them mentions he's heard that people in the U.S. eat dogs, and if they're going to fit in, they better eat dogs as well. So they head to the nearest hot dog stand and order two 'dogs.'

The first guy unwraps his, looks at it, and nervously looks at his friend.

"Which part did you get?"

My wife rotates playing her guitar, drum, or flute once a month.

It’s part of her minstrel cycle.

A young naive couple get married NSFW

After the reception they head back to the hotel, get undressed and are simply standing facing each other.

‘This isn’t right’, the husband Dave says, ‘Let me call my dad’.

His dad tells him he’s an idiot and all he needs to do it stick the hardest part of his body into where she pisses.

A few minutes later the dad gets another call, but this time it’s the daughter in law and she’s hysterical

‘You gotta come here quick. Dave’s got his head stuck in the toilet!’

One day a girl realised she was growing hair between her legs

She asked her mom what it was and her mom replied back 'the part where the hair is growing is called your monkey. Be proud that your monkey is growing hair'

During dinner she told her sister that her monkey had grown hair and the sister replied 'that's nothing, mine is already eating bananas'

PETA should respect Steve Irwin by eating him and using all his parts, not letting anything go to waste.

That's how my uncle, a hunter, explains "respect" anyway.

Waiting for election results is like waiting for a grade on a group project.

I know I did my part right, but I am worried the rest of you screwed it up.

My girlfriend and I have a complex relationship.

I'm the real part and she's the imaginary part.

You disturbed the first part of this funeral.

Just let us do the rest in peace.

What’s the best part about dating a homeless girl?

You can drop her off anywhere

If someone asks you to spell part backwards. Don't

It's a trap.

“Feeling strange, Mr. Bond? That’s because I’ve laced your martini with a measles vaccine. The autism should be setting in any second now.”

“Joke’s on you, I already disassembled your doomsday device and rearranged all the parts in order of size.”

Tiger Woods drives his BMW into a petrol station

in a remote part of Ireland. Paddy, who knows nothing about golf, says "Top of the morning to you sir!"

Tiger nods and bends over to pick up the nozzle. As he does so two tees fall out of his pocket.

"What are those?"

Tiger replies, "These are called tees. They are for resting my balls on when I am driving."

"Fuck me" says Paddy, BMW think of everything!"

I tried acting in porn movies but

I only had small parts.