A woman was in her physician's office when she suddenly asked him to kiss her
He replies, "I can't, that would be against my code of ethics" Twenty minutes went by and the woman again pleaded for him to kiss her. Once more he refused, explaining as a doctor he simply could not. After another 15 minutes passed, the woman begged him again. "Look, I'm sorry. I just can't kiss you. In fact," he sighed, "I probably shouldn't even be fucking you."
Fun fact
Before the invention of the crow bar most crows got drunk at home
Fun fact : Australia's biggest export is boomerangs.
It's also their biggest import.
My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives...
I replied, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law a lot better than I like mine."
Fact
When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90% of their bodies...... Men are so polite that they only look at the covered parts!
Studying for finals is like playing Tetris
just when you seem to get the facts to fit together, all that you thought you learned disappears.
After extensive investigations and many phone calls, the police found that, despite the fact that I’m black, I’ve got a good job, no criminal record and I own the BMW I was driving.
So they arrested me for wasting police time.
I've discovered that 1+1 can, in fact, equal 3.
Because I wasn't wearing a condom.
I don't have a great relationship with my doctor.
In fact, I feel sick every time I see her.
I've heard that Argentina is starting to get a little colder...
In fact, it's bordering on Chile
A man walks into the store to buy condoms
Cashier: This is your third time buying condoms this week! What's your secret?
Man: what can I say, the ladies love me. In fact , Ive probably slept with every girl in this county except my sister and my mother.
Cashier: Huh. Well between the two of us we've got 'em all then!
The fact Ozzy has COVID now just shows bats always get their revenge.
(All the best to them, hope he gets to live a long time)
It’s a little known fact that chuck Norris was dropped twice as a child
Once on Hiroshima and once on Nagasaki
The CIA, FBI, and the KGB are tasked with finding a rabbit in a forest...
The CIA show up after a few days and release a 6000 word article on the fact that rabbits don't exist.
The FBI show up with a dead rabbit and say in a press release "The rabbit had it coming."
The KGB show up with a bruised and beaten bear. The bear is forced to make a statement "I am a rabbit, my father was a rabbit, and my mother is a rabbit. My whole family are rabbits!" the bear disappears shortly after...
Beleive it or not, Mormons do have sex.
Let that fact soak in.
I had this friend named Leonardo. We called him Lee. Anyway, he didn't have alot of money. In fact, he was basically broke...
So one day he stole some bread because he was starving and couldn't buy food. He was caught and sentenced to death. It's really not that funny, but this joke was poor Lee executed.
A group of Engineering professors were invited to fly in a plane.
Right after they were comfortably seated, they were informed the plane was built by their students.
All but one got off their seats and headed frantically to the exits in maniacal panic.
The one lone professor that stayed put, calmly in his seat, was asked: “Why did you stay put?”
“I have plenty of confidence in my students. Knowing them, I for a fact can assure you this piece of shit plane will never even start”
A man walking on the beach stumbled on a bottle.
He picked it up and pulled the cork and a genie jumped out.
Genie: Thank you for freeing me. I will grant you one wish.
Man: I've heard this one, whatever I wish for will come back and bite me.
Genie: Nah man I won't do that. In fact if that happens I'll give you unlimited wishes for the rest of your life.
Man: Okay, I want a boomerang with teeth.
Where do facts come from?
The factory.
I'm great at sleeping...
In fact, I can do it with my eyes closed!