Meaning jokes

If someone with a toe fetish cheats on you

Does that mean they got off on the wrong foot?

‌‌My g‌‌irlfriend l‌‌eft a‌‌ n‌‌ote o‌‌n t‌‌he f‌‌ridge d‌‌oor...

It said, "This is not working. I'm going to my mothers."

I opened the door. The light came on. The beer was cold. Just what in the hell did she mean?

Son: Dad, I have an imaginary girlfriend.

Dad: You know, you could do better.

Son: Thanks Dad, that means a lot.

Dad: I was talking to your girlfriend.

Two boys sitting to pee

Two five year old boys are sitting at the potty to pee.

When one says, " Your thing doesn't have any skin on it!"

" I've been circumcised." Says the second boy.

" What does that mean?"

"It means they cut the protective skin skin off the end."

" How old were you when it was cut off?"

" My mom said that I was two days old."

" Did it hurt?"

" You bet it hurt, I couldn't walk for a whole year!"

So I asked my girlfriend what she would want for her birthday next week

She said: "Well, I dreamt of a golden ring with lots of small diamonds."

I asked her: "What do you think it means?"

She smiled and said: "I don't know..."

Flash forward to her birthday, with all our family members at the table, I gave her my present.

I still don't know why she didn't like this book called 'Dreams and their Meanings'.

father:how are your grades son?

son: underwater, dad

father: underwater? what do you mean?

son:they're below C level

Why is a UTI such a bad thing?

Because it means urine trouble

Ohayo means "good morning" in Japanese

And that is the most interesting thing about Ohio.

Watching movies on illegal websites are probably the hottest thing you can do.

I mean, why else would all these horny singles in my area be ready to chat.

The young couple next door to me recently made a sex tape

I mean they do not know it yet.

A guy wanks into a bar.

He sees two stunningly beautiful blondes and says,

"Hey, barman, two beers for the ladies."

One of the ladies turns to the guy and asks.

"I think you're wasting your time, sir. We're lesbians."

"What's that?" asks the guy.

"It means we only like to have sex with women" the girl responds.

To which the guy retorts: "Hey barman, three beers for us lesbians."

My parents are always telling me that their world doesn't revolve around me

So....I guess that means that I'm not actually their sun :(

Man "I hate the world and everyone in it. I have no patience for it. It's starting to make me sick". Wife: "what do you think about me?"

Man: "oh you mean the world to me, darling".

Can we cool it with the Epstein jokes already people? I mean christ, the man had children.

Locked in his basement.

My ex-girlfriend just told me she wants us to get back together again.

MAN, I sure am LUCKY!

I mean, first I win the lottery and now THIS!!!

Heart-Attacks are overrated

I mean your heart works non-stop all of your life, would it kill you if the poor guy took a break for 5 minutes ?

Girl told me she had a dream that I made love to her

I mean, technically, she didn't say "dream," she said "nightmare," but close enough.