Wall

A hole

There's a hole in the nudist camp wall.

The police are looking into it.

A guy walks into a bar and sees a bunch of meat hanging on the wall.

He sits down and asks the bartender what the deal is with the meat. Bartender says the deal is if you want a free drink you gotta jump up and touch the meat but if you miss, you buy a round for the bar. The guy takes another look at the meat and the bartender asks if he's in. No, says the guy the steaks are too high.

In honor of my dad, who passed away on Wednesday...here is his favorite joke.

Man finds the magic mirror (from Snow White) and gets excited to have his wish come true. So he chants: Magic Mirror on the Wall, make my penis touch the floor!

poof

His penis touches the floor.

His legs are also shorter. Way. Shorter.

a man goes to confess after 25 years

So the man walks into the confession booth for the first time in his adult life, having nothing but bad memories about it from when he was a child. So he opens the door, sits down and notices a couple of playboy nude calenders on the wall, a bottle of whiskey in the corner and a nice box of cigars next to it, and he thinks to himself "Wow, this place has really improved over the years"

But then the Father opens the door and yells "Get out! that's my booth!"

Mexico should stop importing cocaine for a month;

then the Americans will be the ones climbing the wall...

The Mexicans are upset about Trump’s wall

but they’ll get over it.

A man attempting to piss in public is apprehended by a police officer...

The officer asks him, "Sir, do you realize this is against the law?"

The man replies, "No, sir, it's against the wall."

Dead Again

During a funeral, the pallbearers accidentally bump into a wall and hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find out that the woman is actually alive. She lives for 10 more years and then dies. There is another funeral for her. At the end of the service, the pallbearers carry out the casket. As they are walking out, the husband cries out, "Watch out for the wall!"

The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall...

The owner asks the clerk, "What's with that guy over there by the wall?" The clerk says, "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative."

"You idiot! You can't treat a cough with laxatives!"

"Oh yeah? Look at him, he's afraid to cough!"

What does it take to paint a wall red?

Kurt Cobain and his shotgun.

What is a man's Ultimate embarrassment?

Running into a wall with an erection and breaking his nose.

Breaking News: Bill Gates has agreed to pay for Trump's wall

On the condition that he gets to install windows.

What did the Mexicans say when they heard Trump was building a wall?

We’ll get over it.

A drunk staggers into a church one evening, goes into the confessional box and sits down. He doesn't say a word.

The priest coughs to try and get his attention. There's no response so the priest coughs again. There's still no response from the drunk.

The priest coughs a couple of more times and still doesn't get any response, so finally he pounds on the wall.

The drunk slurs, "There's no use knocking. There's no paper this side either."

Why am I against Donald Trump's wall idea?

It will make fleeing to Mexico more difficult when he ruins our country.

NSFW: My wife said she wanted to have sex like they do in the movies...

So I pushed her against the wall, grabbed her hair from behind and drilled her up the shitter. Turns out we watch different movies.

I was reversing my car in the garage and asked my son to spot me, and let me know when I hit the wall.

I heard a bang. "3:45 PM", he said.

I hate how politically correct the world is these days, you can't even say black paint

You have to say

Leroy, please paint that wall

A fish runs into a wall...

"Dam!"

My brother took going to jail really badly. He refused all offers of food and drink, spat and swore at anyone who came near him, and smeared the walls with his own feces.

After that, we never played Monopoly again.

I told my teenage niece to go get me a newspaper...

She laughed at me, and said, "Oh uncle you're so old. Just use my phone."

So I slammed her phone against the wall to kill a spider.

The Talking Clock

A guy picks up a woman in a bar and they go to his apartment. In the bedroom there's a brass gong and a wooden mallet hanging from a stand and the woman says "What's that for?" The guy says "That's a talking clock. I'll show you how it works." He hits the gong as hard as he can and when the sound dies away a voice from the other side of the wall says "Hey asshole! It's 3:15 in the morning!"