Zoo jokes

Man

Man

So a man is walking a penguin down the street on a lead. A policeman sees him and stops the man.

The policeman says, "what are you doing?! Take that penguin to the zoo!"

A week later, the policeman sees the man with the penguin again.

He says, "hey, I thought I told you to take that penguin to the zoo!"

The man replies: "I did! He loved it! We're going to the theme park tomorrow!"

Man

Man

A man walks into a zoo. The only animal in the entire zoo is a dog....

It's a Shitzu

Girl

Girl

So I met this really nice girl at the zoo!

She was a keeper.

DNA

DNA

What do you get when you mix human DNA with animal DNA?

Kicked out of the zoo.

Trump

Trump

Why did Trump push for Congress to change the national bird after seeing one get sick in a zoo?

He hates ill eagles.

Man

Man

Horror at the zoo

A man is at the zoo with his family. Suddenly a flustered employee comes up and says

*Sir, sir! There's been a terrible accident!*

The man responds, *What happened?*

*Your mother-in-law fell into the alligator pool!*

The man, supremely calm, says to the worker, *Not my problem! You try to save those alligators.*

Son

Son

I took my 7 year old son to the zoo today and as we were walking around, he screeched, “Look Dad! It's a frickin' elephant!” I was shocked and slightly angry, because everybody was looking at us...

“What did you just call it?!” I cried.

“It's a frickin' elephant! It says so on the picture! Look!” he shouted, pointing excitedly.

And so it did...A F R I C A N Elephant.

Grandfather

Grandfather

My grandfather has the heart of a lion... And a lifetime ban from the zoo.

Girlfriend

Girlfriend

I met my girlfriend whilst she was working at the zoo.

There she was in her uniform – straightaway I knew she was a keeper.

Job

Job

I was fired from my job as a Zoo Keeper after all the animals died

In my defence, all the signs did say "Don't feed the animals"

Animal

Animal

I went to a zoo but the only animal it had was one dog

It was a shih tzu

Keeper

Keeper

I went to the zoo yesterday and saw a baguette in a cage.

**The zoo keeper told me it was bread in captivity**

Job

Job

I got a new job at the zoo, circumcising elephants.

The pay isn't great but the tips are enormous.