9 jokes

A recent study shows that 9/10 men prefer women with big boobs.

I think the 10th one prefers the other 9.

If it weren't for Arabs, we would never have 9/11

Instead it would be IX / XI

So two people are about to have sex for the first time

and the lady says, "Unfortunately I have small boobs, is that alright with you?"

To which the male replies, "Yea it's alright, I have a dick like a baby."

After the sex the lady exclaims, "You have the biggest penis I have ever seen in my life, Why did you say it was like a baby?"

"It is. 9 pounds 6 ounces and a foot in height."

Apparently, when you drink a pint of Beer

You shorten your lifespan by 9 minutes. So according to my calculations, i died sometime in 1644.

Why did 7 eat 9?

Cause he needs 3 squared meals a day

I'm sorry

My wife and I are a perfect match.

For instance, I have a 9 inch penis, and she doesn't know which end of a ruler to hold up.

What's the difference between 9/11 and your birth?

One was planned.

My German girlfriend likes to rate our sex between 1-10. Last night we tried anal, she kept shouting 9! That's the best I've done so far.

Why is the number 10 traumatized?

It was in the middle of 9/11

I just got into a BIG FIGHT

With 1,3,5,7 and 9.

The odds were against me

Trump, Clinton, Obama, and Bush each ran a mile.

Trump made a time of 11:56

Clinton was slightly faster, timing at 11:31

Obama was very fast, he ran a 10:03

But Bush did 9:11

Father: When Abe Lincoln was your age he walked 9 miles to school and did homework by candlelight.

Son: When Lincoln was your age he was President.

How do we know 9/11 wasn't a government plot?

Because it worked.

The Telemarketer

A telemarketer is making calls when a gentleman answers. "Good evening sir, how are you? I am calling today to--" when the man who answers interrupts him. He said, "Hold on now, first *I* have some questions for *you*." Amused, the telemarketer allows him to ask the questions. The man asks "What has a 2 inch penis, and hangs down?" The telemarketer replies "I give up, what?" The man says, "A monkey!... now what has a 9 inch penis, and hangs up?" The telemarketer says, "I don't know.."

--CLICK--

Ted Cruz left the Navy 9/11 memorial service early...

He only had time to meet a handful of semen.

So everyone knows why 6 is afraid of 7. Can you answer this, How did 10 die?

It was trapped in the middle of 9-11

What does a 9 volt battery have in common with a girl's butt hole?

You know you shouldn't, but sooner or later you're gonna give it a lick.

Hear about the time Mohammed's wife called him a pedophile?

Mohammed responded "Pedophile is a pretty big word for a 9 year old!"

9 Blondes and 1 Brunette are holding onto the wing of a weighed down rapidly descending aircraft.

They all realize one must let go to save the rest of them.

The plane is about 1000 meters away from crashing, when the brunette starts to say that she will heroicly let go of the wing of the plane to save the 9 others.

She gets a few a tears and cries of “Nooo” but as she finishes, all the Blondes clap.