It's WW1 on the straits of Gallipoli, the soldiers are ready to charge from their trenches.
The british officers decides to make a rousing speech to his troops: "Listen here lads, did you come here to die?" and the australian answers "Nah mate, I came 'ere yesterday!"
When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me $85.
That’s why in the Navy, the captain goes down with the ship.
A woman is taken to court...
The judge asks, "What were you charged for?"
The women replied, "Doing my Christmas shopping too early."
When the judge asked her how early, she said, "Before the store opened."
Do you have a USB wire thingy so I can charge my phone in my honda?
**Best Buy employee:** a cord?
**Me:** no it's a Civic.
I just gave away all my dead batteries
Free of charge
I used to date a girl who had one leg and worked at a brewery...
She was in charge of the hops...
Obi Wan: “Yoda, why did the Star Wars movies come out 4,5,6,1,2,3
Yoda: “In charge of scheduling I was”
The person sitting next to me on a flight was a woman. Ever the charmer, I used one of my pick-up lines on her.
I asked, “Does the airline charge you extra for sitting next to good-looking men?”
“Yes,” she replied, “but I wasn’t willing to pay.”
Police arrested two kids yesterday
one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one - and let the other off.
Honda is coming out with the 1st electric vehicle with wireless charging
It’s called the Honda Accordless
Two black guys are walking down the road when they are run over by a drunk-driving cop...
The first guy went through the windshield and the second guy was thrown 50 feet and landed in the ditch.
The first black guy was charged with breaking and entering, and the second guy was charged with leaving the scene of an accident.
My wife dressed up as a police woman last night and giggled, "You're being charged with being good in bed..."
After two minutes she said she was dropping the charge due to lack of evidence.
"Three gulag inmates are telling each other what they’re in for. The first one says: 'I was five minutes late for work, and they charged me with sabotage.'
The second says: 'For me it was just the opposite: I was five minutes early for work, and they charged me with espionage.'
The third one says: 'I got to work right on time, and they charged me with harming the Soviet economy by acquiring a watch in a capitalist country.'"
Why was Star Wars shot Episodes 4, 5, 6, then 1, 2, 3?
Because in charge of directing, Yoda was
What happenes when you beat up an electrician?
You get charged with battery
Someone once said that I should always treat other people how I would like to be treated...
Now I`m facing sexual harassment charges.
Prostitute Joke.
Man : How much for a blowjob?
Prostitute : Ummm $20
Man : Ohhh Damn, it was $80 for my friend. I guess I am your favourite.
Prostitute : Cut it out, I charge $10 per inch.
What's the difference between Chris Brown and a Tesla Model S?
The Tesla gets fewer battery charges in a year