Cost jokes

I want to make a trivia show for rednecks where wrong answers cost them their hair.

I'll call it "Mullet Over."

I offer my kids $500 for every A on their report card.It sends the message that education is a priority in our household.

And it costs me absolutely nothing since my kids aren't that bright.

Girls are evil...

(Saw this about 10 years ago)

If you have a girlfriend, then you know they cost time and money. Therefore:

Girls = time × money But: time = money So: Girls = money x money Which means: Girls = money^2

Now we all know that money is the root of all evil. So: Money = sq.root(evil)

And now: Girls = (sq.root (evil))^2

Which means: Girls = Evil

My wife said last night "You treat our marriage like it's some sort of game"

Which unfortunately cost her 12 points and a bonus chance

My mum keeps moaning about the cost of things these days. £2.50 for a sandwich, £1.50 for coffee, £12.50 for a Sunday lunch....

So I say to her, “look Mum, my house, my prices!”

Stopped to put air in my tires today. The pump cost $1.50! I remember when those things used to only cost 25 cents.

Guess the price has adjusted for inflation.

So a man loses an arm and a leg in an accident...

And he's talking to a friend. The friend points out to him an advertisement for incredibly realistic prosthetic limbs. "Oh boy, those seem great! I can't wait to buy them!" He says, and he goes off to get them. The next day, he's talking to his friend, but he's still missing his limbs! "What happened, I thought you were going to buy them!" His friend said, confused. "Oh, I did," He replied, "But they cost me an arm and a leg."

The cost of living has now become so expensive.....

....that my wife is having sex with me because she can't afford the batteries.

The sex position 69 will now be called 96

This is due to inflation, the cost of eating out increased.

Which haircut would cost you the most?

Chemotherapy

"These speakers didn't cost that much so I doubt they will work well"

"that is a cheap stereotype"

If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, you should try swimming with sharks

It cost me an arm and a leg!

Yesterday I accidentally sent a naked picture of myself to everyone in my address book

Not only was it embarrassing, but it cost a fortune in stamps.

Degrees

The graduate with a science degree asks, 'Why does it work?'

The graduate with an engineering degree asks, 'How does it work?'

The graduate with an accounting degree asks, 'How much will it cost?'

The graduate with a liberal arts degree asks, 'Do you want fries with that?'

My dad bought himself a new hearing aid.

"It's state of the art," he boasted. "Cost me a fortune."

"Awesome," I replied. "What kind is it?"

"Two-thirty."

Sex for Money

The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money costs less.

What does a prostitute and a bungee jump have in common?

They both cost a lot, last 5 seconds, and if the rubber splits you're fucked.

A slice of pie costs $3.50 in Barbados,

$3.00 in Saint Lucia, $2.50 in Belize, and $2 in Cuba.

Those are the pie rates of the Caribbean.