Oooooh BURN!
Him : Hey, girl ... Wanna hear a joke about my dick ... Oh wait nevermind, it is too long.
(\*looks at his friends thinking he did a solid pick-up line\*)
Her : Let me tell you a joke about my pussy ... Oops nevermind, you won't get it.
I tried making a joke about self isolation...
But I couldn’t come close
A political joke for both sides:
Joe Biden has forgotten more about governing than Trump ever learned.
My deaf sibling asked if i wanted to hear a joke
I replied “sure”
They said “me too”
my daughter is 3. her joke about spiders:
Spiders make Websites.
she's not wrong.
The boss tells one of his jokes and everyone burst out laughing in the office. Except for one guy.
When asked "Why didn't you laugh?" He responded " I don't work here"
Communist jokes aren’t funny
Unless everyone gets them
A rope walks into a bar
And sees someone sitting at the bar reposting this joke. The rope hangs the reposter.
A while back, my father told me an awful dad joke.
He said he'd be right back
What’s the difference between Ironman and Ironwoman?
One is a superhero and the other is a command.
(Be gentle its my first joke)
Latvian Joke.
What are one potato say other potato? Premise ridiculous. Who have two potato?
Dad jokes and Yo Mama jokes seem like they'd be the same
But the difference is a parent.
Why do people consistently make bad chemistry jokes?
Because all the good ones Argon.
Not a joke but a real incident that happened to an indian acquaintance of mine when he moved to Australia for higher studies..
So he comes out of the airport and gets into the cab.
The Aussie cab driver asked where he is from ?
He replied 'India '.
The cab driver asked ' So did you come to die?'
He froze as it was the times when there were racial attacks by white Aussies on people of indian descent .
It was only few weeks later, he realised that the driver actually asked " Did you come today?'
Having gay parents must be wild
You either get twice the "dad" jokes or an endless loop of, "go ask your mother"
Old joke about heaven and hell
Heaven is where the police are British, the cooks are French, and the auto mechanics are German.
Hell is where the police are German, the cooks are English, and the auto mechanics are French.
A Christian, a Jew, a Muslim, an atheist, and a Pagan all walk into a Starbucks
And they chat, enjoy coffee, laugh, become friends, and have a wonderful time.
This isn't a joke, by the way. It's just what happens when you're not a dickhead
I have a great joke about social anxiety.
Who am I kidding? You'll hate it.
My wife is fed up of my constant Dad jokes, so I asked her, "How can I stop my addiction?"
**Wife:** whatever means necessary.
**Me:** No it doesn't.
A series of cow jokes
Q: What do you call a sleeping cow? A: A bull-dozer Q: How does a farmer count his cows? A: With a cowculator Q: Why do cows wear bells? A: Because their horns don't work Q: Why don't cows have money? A: The farmers milk them dry Q: What's a grumpy cow called? A: Moooody