Joke jokes

You know the problem with political jokes?

Sometimes they get elected.

A priest, a rabbi, a minister, a blonde, a duck and a horse walk into a bar.

The bartender looks at them and says, "is this some kind of joke?"

My brother did one like that after a long string of pirate jokes.

"What's a pirate's favourite crime?"

"Arrrrson," I said, chuckling at my cleverness.

"You idiot," he replied, "it's obviously Piracy."

I have created the only non-racist Chinese joke.

So I went to Chinatown today. There were too many bright lights. I asked them to dim sum.

Can we ban "Yo Momma" jokes from this sub? They're old, stupid, and have been done by literally everyone hundreds of times

Just like yo mama

Covid is not a joke and should be taken seriously

A former patient was so brain damaged afterwards, he wrongly believed he'd won an election he actually lost by millions of votes.

I always get the last laugh

Because no one else laughs at my jokes

My grandpa's favorite joke

This works better in my native language, but I am going to do my best to try to translate it effectively.

At the end of a good day's work, an accountant goes home and announces proudly to his wife "Honey, I missed the bus today but I saved $2 by chasing after it all the way home! "

His wife fixes him with a look of pure contempt and says "You fool!! You could have saved $75 if you'd only chased after a cab."

A joke my 4 year old came up with today...

Him: ‟What‘s the only mammal that can breathe under water?”

Me: ‟I dunno, what?”

Him (loudly): ‟An elephant sticking his trunk up!”

My wife made me promise to stop making stupid jokes

So I got a vasectomy

Biology Joke

When a plant is sad, what do other plants do?

Photosympathize

These bloody "Among Us" jokes have really run their course!

Sorry, I just had to vent.

Make your Betsy DeVos jokes soon..

While people can still read

Didja hear the joke about the piece of paper ripped in half?

It's tearable.

The soviet soldier asked the german how to get to Berlin

Soviet soldier:how do i go to Berlin ? German: two hundred meters later take the third Reich.

(it was my first english joke ever probably it gonna be the last one sorry for my broken english)

What begins with “M” and ends in “arriage” and is a mans favorite thing?

A miscarriage That Joke never gets old just like the baby

Can we cool it with the Epstein jokes already people? I mean christ, the man had children.

Locked in his basement.

A man was arrested for telling a joke which called Vladimir Putin stupid.

He was tried and sentenced to 15 years and 3 months in a work camp.

When asked about the strangely specific sentence, the judge explained that he gave 3 months for insulting the president, and 15 years for divulging state secrets.

I wanted to post a joke about sodium

But then I was like Na, people wont understand.

I was going to post a joke about free and fair elections....

But I’m not sure the Americans will get it.