She jokes

With my wife, we have decided we don't want to have children.

The children don't appreciate this much though.

Son told his dad he loves the girl next door

"Son, you can't love her. She's my secret daughter with another wife."

"But dad, what about the other girl next next door?"

"Sorry, son. She's also my secret daughter with the other wife."

Son walks away with tears in his eyes after knowing the truth. Mom heard it all and approaches to him

"Honey, you can love the girls next door if you want to. You're not your dad's son anyway."

People say I'm crazy for trying to invent a mind-controlled air freshener...

but it makes scents when you think about it.

Difference between a cult and a religion

In a cult, there's a guy at the top that knows it's a scam.

In a religion, that guy is dead.

I think I figured out the source of the beef between Kyle Rittenhouse and LeBron James.

Kyle has LeBron sorely outclassed in both shooting and defense.

Studying for finals is like playing Tetris

just when you seem to get the facts to fit together, all that you thought you learned disappears.

I just gave away all my dead batteries

Free of charge

The Washington Redskins finally decided to drop their offensive name.

Dan Snyder, owner of the NFL Redskins, has announced that the team is dropping "Washington" from the team name, and it will henceforth be simply known as, "The Redskins." It was reported that he finds the word "Washington" imparts a negative image of poor leadership, mismanagement, corruption, cheating, lying, and graft, and is not a fitting role-model for young fans of football.

What did the son reply when his mother asked if he needed a drive to his yoga class?

"Nah, ma, stay"

A nurse, a doctor, and an anti-vaxxer walk into a bar.

The nurse sits down at the bar and says, “I’ll have a Bloody Mary!”

The doctor sits next to her and says, “Give me a rum and coke!”

The anti-vaxxer does nothing. She collapsed and died from polio.

While watching Olympic kayaking, I was surprised at how bad the Cuban team was at paddling. Then I realized,

That's probably why they're still in Cuba.

What does it take to paint a wall red?

Kurt Cobain and his shotgun.

A man walks into a bar, takes a seat, and asks the bartender if he wanted to hear a blonde joke. The bartender replies, "Before you tell this joke, I want to tell you something. See the woman over there? She is a black belt in karate, she's blonde. See the bouncer over there? He is also a blonde. See the chick over there with that pool cue? She is also blonde. Also, I have a shotgun behind the bar, and I'm blonde. So, do you still want to tell your joke?" He replies, "Forget that! I ain't explaining the joke four times."

Leave a like down below if you think Stephen Hawking should stand for the national anthem.

Man looked his naked body in the mirror says to wife-look 75 kg of pure dynamite

Wife says: but shame on the 5 cm fuse

What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and the Statue of Liberty? The statue stands for something.

In a cruel twist of irony, Stephen Hawking's favorite song was "I've Got the Power."

How did Stephen Hawking please his woman? He used a hard drive.

It's funny how Stephen Hawking sounds like Stephen walking or Stephen talking, but he can't do any of those things.

Poor Stephen Hawking couldn't pass the "I'm not a robot" test.