Call jokes

In the next Marvel movie I hear that Ironman, Captain America and the others will team up to battle Comcast .

It is called Avengers Xfinity Wars!

What happens when you call a duck?

His phone wings

What do you call a punctuation mark that's got a girlfriend?

..accommodating.

There are a lot of double standards in dating. Like if a girl has sex with a bunch of dudes, she called a "slut."

If I do it, I'm called a "homosexual."

After extensive investigations and many phone calls, the police found that, despite the fact that I’m black, I’ve got a good job, no criminal record and I own the BMW I was driving.

So they arrested me for wasting police time.

An employee gets called into his boss’s office...

Boss: “Young man, you have risen very fast in this company. Two years ago, you began as an office boy. In a couple of months, you were a clerk. Then, you became a salesman, after that assistant manager, then manager. Now you are the vice president of the company. What have you to say about all this?"

Employee: "Thanks, Dad".

Almost all coins look the same

This must be what we call a coincidence

What do you call immigrants to Sweden?

Artificial Swedeners

What do you call a snake that's 3.14 metres long?

A "Pi"-thon.

(brought to you by the bad puns initiative)

What do you call particularly complex stairs?

Stairs with extra steps.

What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose?

Full

What do you call an emo a capella group?

Self harmony

What did they call the conflict between Alexander Hamilton and Aaron Burr?

The Ham-Burr-Grrr.

I'm not even sorry.

What do you call a person who has outstanding street smarts?

A roads scholar

Me and my friend are going to form a band called 'the duvets'

Mainly going to be a cover band

If sex with three people is called a threesome and sex with two people is called a twosome...

then I know why people call you handsome.

What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos

We argued all day about what to call a medieval soldier

But it was getting late so we decided to call it a knight.

What do you call a party with 100 midgets?

A little get together.

What do you call a chicken haunting your home?

A Poultrygeist.