Blind man goes for surgery
A man blind from birth hears about new surgery that can give him sight. He goes to the doctor who tells him he can do the surgery. He asks if being able to see will have any negative impacts on his life.
"Well," the doctor says. "You won't be able to maintain an erection."
"Is that a common side effect from the surgery," the blind man asks.
"No," says the doctor. "It's just that your wife is ugly."
What do boobs and the sun have in common?
You can look at them longer if you're wearing sunglasses
What do midgets and dwarfs have in common?
Very little.
What do lesbians and politicians have in common?
One slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit
What does Titanic and the iPhone X have in common?
Jack is dead.
What does COVID and riding a motorcycle have in common?
You can do everything right but other people can still fuck you over.
What is the most common use for pig skins?
To keep the pig in one piece.
What do me and Rudy Giuliani have in common?
Neither of us are allowed to practice law in New York.
What do sex and air have in common?
It's no big deal unless you aren't getting any.
Heard on the radio.
What does a pulse and an orgasm have in common?
I don’t care if she has one.
What is the phobia of chainsaws called?
Common Sense
What do skid marks on the toilet bowl and girlfriends have in common?
They're both easy to piss off
What do fortnite players and olive oil have in common?
They’re both extra virgin
What does a 9 volt battery have in common with a girl's butt hole?
You know you shouldn't, but sooner or later you're gonna give it a lick.
What do I and Ronda Rousey have in common?
neither of us can last more than a minute :(
What does violent diarrhoea and a bar fight have in common?
Blood on your stool
What do stoners and arthritis have in common??
They both inflame joints.
What do giants and strippers both have in common?
They both grind men’s bones to make their bread.
What does a prostitute and a bungee jump have in common?
They both cost a lot, last 5 seconds, and if the rubber splits you're fucked.
Parallel lines have so much in common...
It's a shame they'll never meet.