Difference jokes

How do you tell the difference between snowmen and snowwomen?

Snowballs.

What's the difference between a school teacher and a train?

A school teacher tells you to spit out your gum, a train says choo choo.

What's the difference between a little kid and a lesbian?

A little kid shouldn't run with scissors and a lesbian shouldn't scissor with the runs

What's the difference between snow men and snow women?

Snow balls

What's the difference between a vegan and a computer programmer?

One is disgusted by rack of lamb and the other is disgusted by lack of RAM.

What's the difference between a joke and a repost???

...about two hours.

What's the difference between parsley and pubic hair?

Nothing. You push them both aside and keep on eating.

What's a difference between a crusade and a homicide

In one, you murder for a book and in other you are booked for a murder.

What's the difference between a lobster and a Japanese woman run over by a steamroller?

One's a crustacean and the other is a crushed Asian.

What is the difference between a wife and a job??

**Job still sucks after 10pm. ;)**

I got kicked out of the hospital!

Apparently the sign “STROKE PATIENTS HERE” meant something completely different.

I just read somewhere that capitalization is the difference between "I helped my uncle Jack off a horse" and "i helped my uncle jack off a horse".

Well that's embarrassing. Now everyone thinks my uncle's name is Jack.

What's the difference between North Korea and Ubisoft?

North Korea didn't fuck up as many launches as Ubisoft

What’s the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi?

People from Dubai don’t like the Flinstones, people from Abu Dhabi do.

Whats the difference between a amateur thief and a professional thief?

An amateur thief says, "Give me all your money!"

A professional thief says, "Sign here please.."

What's the difference between being hungry and horny?

Where you put the cucumber.

Harry can’t tell the difference between his potion brewing pot and his best friend...

They are both cauldron.

What's the difference between Mike Tyson and DJ Kahled?

Tyson went down eventually.

What's the difference between a woman in church and a woman in the bath?

One has hope in her soul...

What’s the difference between a camera and a sock?

A camera takes photos and a sock takes five toes.