School jokes

I'm from the southern US, is it OK to poke fun at myself?

Why don't schools in the south teach Driver's Ed and Sex Ed on same day?

Too hard on the mule.

Topless carwash

So these kids in school are trying to find new ways to raise money. They suggest a few ideas, all of which are shot down by their teacher. Finally a kid says ‘I get it! We should do a topless carwash!’

Very carefully, the teacher asks: ‘what do you mean?’

The kid says, ‘well, we can’t reach the roofs of the cars, so we will just do the sides and the front and back’

Good Kid!

A father had a rather dim-witted son. One day, the son came home from school. His father asked him, "How was school, son?" His son replied, "Great dad! My teacher asked a question, and only I could answer!" His father was overjoyed. He probed, "Good kid! What was the question?"

His son replied, "She asked, 'Who farted?' "

A joke my grandmother, of all people, told me when I was a kid.

I don't know how many of y'all have heard this joke, but here it goes. Two guys were at a University of Georgia football game when one of them looks down at the Georgia Bulldog sidelines and sees Uga, the school mascot, licking himself like dogs like to do. The guy smiles, leans over to his buddy while pointing at Uga and says, "Man, I wish I could do that". His friend looks back at him in surprise and says, "Man, that dog would bite you!"

What does a gun and a pack of gum have in common?

Everyone suddenly wants to be your friend when you take it out at school.

The Deadliest Job in WW2

My high school assignment was to ask a veteran about World War II. Since my father had served in the Philippines during the war, I chose him. After a few basic questions, I very gingerly asked, “Did you ever kill anyone?”

Dad got quiet. Then, in a soft voice, he said, “Probably. I was the cook.”

Why did Arkansas raise the legal drinking age to 32?

To keep alcohol out of the high schools.

Why can't orphans go on school field trips?

Parent Signature: _______

Grandpa: You can't have phones within 15 feet of the table. Me: And you aren't allowed within 100 feet of the elementary school.

An American is lecturing a British person, saying things like "it's an elevator not a lift" and "it's chips not crisps," etc. After a while of this, the British person calmly retorted, "they're schools, not shooting ranges."

Say what you want about pedophiles, but at least they drive slow through school zones.

A teacher asked a first grader, why he brought a cat to school?!

He said:”It’s my moms cat, I saved it’s life!”

“How is that?”asked the teacher

“I overheard daddy tell mommy he’s going to eat her pussy after me and my sister leave for school!”

My Sister always got bullied at school for being adopted.

Homeschooling for us was fun though

My son was thrown out of school for the third time this year for letting a girl in his class jerk him off

Im starting to think that maybe teaching isn't for him.

Say what you want about Trump...

...but he’s brought school shootings down to zero for more than an entire month.

Why did the magician flunk out of school?

He couldn’t spell.

Father: When Abe Lincoln was your age he walked 9 miles to school and did homework by candlelight.

Son: When Lincoln was your age he was President.

A school finally decided it's ok to show their students a documentary about menstrual cycles.

It was about bloody time.

I saw a kidnapping at school

...so I woke him up.

Some say that we should bring back corporal punishment in schools.

I say we just shoot the little bastards like they do in America.