See jokes

Getting tired of these people who come to my door, telling me I'm gonna burn unless I'm saved...

The flashing lights on their trucks were pretty cool to see, though.

A joke my grandmother, of all people, told me when I was a kid.

I don't know how many of y'all have heard this joke, but here it goes. Two guys were at a University of Georgia football game when one of them looks down at the Georgia Bulldog sidelines and sees Uga, the school mascot, licking himself like dogs like to do. The guy smiles, leans over to his buddy while pointing at Uga and says, "Man, I wish I could do that". His friend looks back at him in surprise and says, "Man, that dog would bite you!"

Why don't you see elephants hiding in trees very often?

Because they are really good at it.

My brother wanted to share his original joke with you guys so here we go...

You guys wanna see my invisible jet, well you can’t

Man walks into a pet shop and sees a parrot for only $50.

Eeeeee....

A man goes to the Optician for his eye test.

The Optician asked him what he can see. "I see empty airports, empty football grounds, closed theaters and closed pubs." That's perfect says the Optician, you've got 2020 vision!

Wonder Woman

Superman and Flash are on the roof of a tall building, and they see Wonder Woman, naked, with her legs wide open, on the roof of the building next door.

Flash says to Superman, "I bet I could run over to her, have sex with her, and run off before she notices me." Superman agrees, and Flash runs over, has rough and fast sex with her, and runs off.

Wonder Woman feels a breeze and goes, "What the hell was that?" and the Invisible Man goes, "I don't know, but damn does my ass hurt."

A homeless guy sees a lady about to kill herself.

He walks up to her standing on the edge of a tall bridge and says, “hey I know what you’re about to do, and I won’t pretend to understand or stop you, but before you do, can we please have sex? It’s been a really long time.

She replies, no you sicko!”

So he says “it’s cool. I’ll just go wait at the bottom.”

How I learned to miknd my own business:

I was walking past the mental hospital the other day, and all the patients were yelling "13...13...13..."

The fence was too high for me to see over but I saw a little gap in the planks, so I looked through to see what was going on.

Someone poked me in the eye with a stick and then they all started shouting "14... 14... 14..."!

A Rooster sees a cat fall in a puddle

The rooster falls into a fit of laughter, and can barely catch his breathe. The cat climbs out of the puddle and scolds the rooster saying "that was not funny at all." The rooster composes himself and says "Sorry, but do you know what a wet pussy does to a cock?"

Star gazing isn’t very fun

I’ve been doing it all afternoon and now I can’t see

I went to see the doctor today and he said to me, "Don't eat anything fatty."

I said, "What - no bacon or sausages or burgers or anything?"

He said, "No fatty, just don't eat anything."

What happens when a duck bends over?

You can see its butt quack.

Did you hear about the man who went to the psychiatrist's office wearing nothing but plastic wrap?

The psychiatrist said "this won't take long, I can clearly see your nuts"

Why don’t you ever see any Transgender parents?

Because they’re Trans-Parent.

A hooker walked up to me....

And said "I'll suck your dick for $20."

I said "Let me see the $20 first."

I've been having hallucinations lately.

I'm getting better though; I'm starting to see a psychiatrist.

When I was at the grocery store, I asked an employee where the cereal was, and he said, "I'll see." And walks off. 5 minutes later, I asked another employee about the cereal, and he too said, "I'll see," and walks off.

I eventually found it myself. It was in aisle C.

I got my best friend a fridge for her birthday.

I can't wait to see her face light up when she opens it.

Welcome to invisibility class.

I’m pretty disappointed to see so many of you.