Way jokes

So I was looking up popular pornographic search terminology...

Turns out FFM, Bondage, and Watersports are a three way tie for #1.

When receiving payment in gold coins, pirates used to verify their purity by biting into them

In other word, criminals only accepting payment in bit coins goes long way back

A ventriloquist is performing with his dummy on his lap

He’s telling a dumb-blonde joke when a young platinum-haired beauty jumps to her feet.

“What gives you the right to stereotype blondes that way?” she demands. “What does hair color have to do with my worth as a human being?”

Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to stammer out an apology.

“You keep out of this!” she yells. “I’m talking to that little jerk on your knee!”

Two guys are talking about sex with their girlfriends.

Says the first guy: “Dude, have you ever tried doing it in the other hole?” His buddy is outraged: “Are you crazy? She could get pregnant that way!”

I only sleep with democrats.

That way, I don't have to worry about the baby afterwards.

My best friend committed suicide by overdosing on Viagra...

I'm not sure he chose the best method though, it seems like a hard way to go.

Do you know why they buried George H. W. In Houston instead of his beloved Kennebunkport?

Because it’s way too cold for planting Bushes in Maine.. told to me by my mother

There are three ways to spread news

telegram, television and tellawoman.

I once went on a business trip to china, while there I ordered myself a prostitute. Half way though she was screaming in delight “meee how” meeee hooow” and I thought to myself “she’s loving this”

Just the next day out golfing with a few clients when I hit a ball from the edge of the green to roll on the hole perfectly, of course I couldn’t speak mandarin so I screamed the only happy words I knew “Mee how” “meeeeehow”, whilst celebration one of my colleges comes over and says “no you’ve got the right hole”

What is the proper way to explore Italy?

You Rome.

Her: Do you think our kids are spoiled?

Me: No, I’m sure most kids smell that way.

My wife just nudged me and said, "You weren't even listening, were you?"

I thought, that's a strange way to start a conversation.

Scientists have found a way to slow down the speed of light...

They shine it through a post office.

You know what, as a Jew, I'm getting really tired of these Jewish jokes.

We need to stop giving them away for free and figure out a way to monetize them.

Thanos’ finger snap would have a way greater impact if they found a way to make it seem like half the audience disappeared

Apparently only DC movies can do that

Jared Fogles career started and ended the same way.

Trying to get in to smaller pants.

Jesus to the Jews:

I am the son of God.

Jews: No way...

Jesus: Yahweh.

A farm worker greets Josef Stalin at his potato farm...

“Comrade Stalin, we have so many potatoes that, piled one on top of the other, they would reach all the way to God,” the farmer excitedly tells his leader.

“But God does not exist,” replies Stalin.

“Exactly,” says the farmer. “Neither do the potatoes.”

Laughing Dog

A man walks into the cinema with a dog. They start watching the movie (a comedy) and laugh and laugh all the way through it. When the lights go up, a woman who was sitting in the row behind tapped the man on the shoulder and said: " I must say I was really surprised to hear your dog laughing all through the film. "So was I" replied the man, " He hated the book!"

When I die I want to come back as a spider,

That way I'll finally hear girls say "omg it's huge"